Page 84 of Spearcrest Prince

Before Anaïs arrived, life used to be simple. Especially when I replaced love and relationships with fleeting pleasure.

I had everything I wanted; I did whatever I wanted. Parties, power, drinking, flirting, fucking. Girls fell into my bed at the snap of a finger and left just as quickly. Life was a rigged game: designed for me to win.

Anaïs ruined everything.

Like wild weeds in a flowerbed, she invaded my life, my mind. Thoughts of her wrap around me like vines until I can’t think of anything but her.

If I could tear her out of my head and burn her away, roots and all, I would. I would rip her out of my life and go back to tending pretty blooms.

Evan and Iakov run to the lake at the edge of campus.

Students aren’t allowed there, but it’s the perfect spot if you’re looking for some quiet space to think. Iakov strides to the end of the wooden jetty and, without ceremony, strips. He tosses his T-shirt, sweatpants, shoes and socks aside, careless about where they land.

Then he jumps into the lake.

“What’s his problem?” I mutter to Evan.

“Who knows,” Evan says.

Iakov emerges from the water and wades closer to us, brushing a hand through his short hair.

“Come on,” he says. “Good water. Clears the head.”

Evan and I exchange a glance. Evan shrugs, and I sigh. We imitate Iakov, taking off our clothes and jumping in the water.

The shock of the cold takes my breath away, but as soon as my body adjusts to the temperature, I understand why Iakov is doing this. He’s not wrong about it clearing the head.

I swim through the icy water, and my head feels clearer than it has in a long time.

Clear enough for me to realise how truly fucked I am.

Once every thought and pretence and lie and question is stripped from my mind, only one thing remains.

I want Anaïs.

I crave her like sugar, like something I know is bad for me but tastes too good to give up. I want her like a tyrant because she doesn’t seem to want me, doesn’t listen to me, fights me at every turn.

Do I want her because she doesn’t want me?

But I’m not sure she doesn’t. I’m not sure of anything with her. She would tell me if I asked, I’m sure of it. I’m just too scared to ask.

Heaving myself up on the jetty, I let the cold air hit my wet limbs. It’s painful and bracing, but it feels good at the same time. Evan is swimming in strong laps around the lake, his blond hair darkened by the water.

Evan has always struck me as a complete fool. He’s a star athlete, one of the most popular boys in Spearcrest. Unlike me, Evan craves love, and girls would throw themselves at his feet to give him what he wants.

And yet he still wants Sophie Sutton. A girl who hates his guts, who puts him down at every turn, who would die before she ever gave him a kind word.

To me, that was always the most embarrassing part of Evan. How could he want someone who so blatantly disliked him? When he could have anyone else he wanted?

But now, I’m starting to understand.

I’ll never understand what Evan sees in Sutton, but I understand his pain. Nobody would choose to want someone they can’t have. Sophie’s made Evan miserable for years—they’ve made each other miserable for years—but Evan doesn’t have a choice but to suffer.

And now, I’m in the same position as him.

What a tragic state of affairs.

Later,whenwe’reheadingback to the dorms after our swim, I walk alongside Evan.

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