Page 94 of Spearcrest Knight

“I’ve not even said anything yet.”

“I don’t want to hear anything you have to say.”

She’s not even quiet for a whole second before she turns back around to face me. “You’re a real piece of shit, you know that?”

I raise my hands. “I know, that’s why I—”

“When I think about—” she interrupts me, then interrupts herself, composing herself with a graceful gesture. “Sophie is a fuckinggoddessin this world. Nobody works harder than she does, nobody deserves more than she does. She has a hard time trusting other people becauseyouwere a dick to her and decided to ruin the first friendship she ever had in this place. And now she’s actually in a better place, and actually decides to give you the tiniest morsel of trust even though you did nothing to deserve it, what’s the first thing you do? Sell her out? For what?”

“But I’m sorry I did it, and I wish I could take it back, but I can’t, I’ve tried to apologise but—”

Her eyes go wide. “Oh, youapologised?” she says witheringly. “Oh, why didn’t you say so? A wholeapology? My god, you poor thing.” She shakes her head. “You disgust me. When I think—do you even know how much Sophie worries? She worries about things all the fucking time. She’s grown up around people who are richer than she’ll ever be, no matter how hard she works, and she managed to find this one tiny thing that made her feel some control over her life and future, and you just fucked that up for what? For literally no reason.”

“I said I’d pay her for the tutoring though!” I protest. “It’s not like I don’t know she doesn't worry about money. I would help in a heartbeat, but she said no!”

“Sophie would rather die than let you help her!” Araminta exclaims.

“I know, she told me she’ll jump from the clock tower before she ever takes money from me.”

“And I can assure you she absolutely meant it.”

“Then how the fuck am I supposed to help?”

“You didn’t need to help at all! You just needed tonotfuck things up!” Araminta pauses, then glares at me. “Why did you even sleep with her in the first place if you were going to turn around and do something like that? I knew you were capable of being a real piece of shit but that’s a dick move even by your abysmal fucking standards!”

I falter. “She—she told you we… slept together?”

It’s not exactly the term I would have used to describe what passed between Sophie and I but if I described it the way it happened I’m pretty sure Araminta would reach into my pants and rip my balls off with her bare hand.

She grimaces. “This is Sophie we’re talking about. Unlike you, this kind of stuff is a big deal to her.”

I interrupt hotly. “It’s a fucking big deal to me too!”

“Clearly not, since you fucked her one second, reported her to the school the next, and then told everyone she hates she’s essentially your whore.”

The loathing in her eyes dissuades me from denying anything she’s just said, so I don’t.

“Look, I know I fucked up, okay? But I’m not a robot either!” I lean forward, lowering my voice. “She hurt me too, you know!”

Araminta narrows her eyes but doesn’t speak, as if she’s waiting for an explanation.

So I hurry up and explain, before she punches me, which she looks like she really wants to. “She said she was only having sex with me to get rid of me and then she couldn’t—she didn’t even want to see my face while we… At least I had sex with her because it washer, because I wanted to—she could barely bring herself to look at me. How do you think that felt?”

“Obviously it must have felt like shit,” Araminta admits, “but kind of makes sense in the context of things, don’t you think? And telling everyone you two fucked just to make her look bad isn’t exactly going to make her feel better about the whole thing, is it?”

“I wasn’t trying to make her look back, I—”

But Araminta interrupts me. “The truth, Evan, is that you’ve always wanted her for yourself, and because you’re too much of a coward to admit it, you would just rather nobody else have her, so you make her life hell so there’s nothing left in it but you. You finally made some headway, because she trusted you enough to tell you she got that job, and even somehow deigned sleeping with you, and you managed to fuck both of those things up, all for what? To maintain some last dreg of power over her while you can? Well, guess what? Your scorched earth approach isn’t going to corner her into liking you—it’s just destroying everything.”

I’m starting to get fed up with everyone calling me a coward, but I don’t say this to Araminta. Instead, I sigh and say, “What do I do, then?”

Araminta blinks. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, how do I get through to her? I was nice to her at my house, and it felt nice, and I kept her secret and offered to let her stay at mine so she could keep going to that job, and then when things were finally going well and we made out, she just turns around and says it’s all a terrible mistake, she was drunk and she regretted it and she fancies someone else. What was I doing wrong, then?”

“Just because you were nice to her one fucking time doesn’t mean she automatically owes you her complete and undying love, Evan! My god, are you a child? Could you not be nice to her just because you actually like her and want her life to be nice and not because you expect anything from her?”

I look down, shame flushing heat into my face. “I can, I can, but—”

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