Page 74 of Spearcrest Knight

“Oh my god, are you a child?” Audrey snaps at Araminta. She turns back to me, cocks an eyebrow. “Did you, though?”

“I didn’t touch it, no.” I hesitate, then talk very quickly, just to get it out of the way. “But he, um, he went down on me and—god. I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I wish the ground would swallow me up.”

There is a moment of suffocating silence as the girls all strive to conceal their shock.

“Well.” Araminta is the one who finally breaks the silence. “Was it good, though?”

If only she knew how good.Ibarely even know how good—I have strictly forbidden myself to even think about it.

I nod.

“Wow. Fucking hell, Sophe, not what I expected, I have to say.” Audrey pauses and frowns. “So then what happened?”

“So then I tried to fix my mistake. I told him we were both drunk and lonely, and I apologised to him.”

“Youapologised? It’s not like you took advantage of him,” Araminta points out.

“But it’s not like Iwantedwanted to kiss him, or for him to… well, to do anything—so in a way Ididtake advantage of him.”

“Oh, please.” Araminta rolls her eyes. “Evan’s fancied you for so long this was probably a dream come true for him.”

I stare at Audrey, agog. “What planet have you been living on? He hates my guts.”

“No, he doesn’t. He’s an arsehole to you, and a complete twat in general most of the time, but he doesn’thateyou. It’s so obvious he’s obsessed with you. He’s like a really childish boy in primary school who throws frogs at the girl he likes.”

“Except we’re not in primary school, we’re almost adults,” I say drily. “If an adult throws a frog at another adult, it’s not a cute crush. It’s weird and creepy.”

“Audrey isn’t defending his actions,” Araminta points out. “She’s just saying his fucked up behaviour isn’t based on hate.”

“Right, but regardless of why he’s an arsehole or his obsession with you,” Audrey presses on. “What happened next? After your… your apology?”

She winces as she speaks the word like it pains her to even say it. I don’t care, I stand by my apology. I actually have the maturity to admit my mistakes, unlikesomepeople I can think of.

Well, one person anyway.

I continue with some hesitation. “Then… then he said he wanted to kiss me and that I wanted to kiss him.”

“Well, I mean it’s not a lie,” Araminta points out.

“What did you say?” Audrey asks.

“I said that it was a mistake and that I like someone else.”

Silence reigns once more. Around us, the shadows of the study hall press in, surrounding the three stunned faces blinking at me.

“You told him about Freddy?” Audrey says finally.

“What, so you like Freddy?” Araminta asks with a frown.

“No, no—I mean, of course, IlikeFreddy, he’s actually nice to me. But I don’tlikehim, I just didn’t want Evan to think I kissed him because I like him, because I don’t.”

“But don’t you, though?” Audrey asks more quietly.

“No, Audrey, I don’t. I just… it was weird, staying with him. He baked cookies. We made dinner together. We hung out. It was like in Year 9, when things were okay, and also like having a… it was really nice. I guess I just got confused.”

“Right.” Audrey doesn't look convinced but doesn’t push it.

Araminta prompts me on. “So then what did Evan say?”

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