Page 120 of Spearcrest Knight

Before I can say anything, Araminta shakes her head. “No. Sophie got some action too, I reckon.”

“What?” I blink at her. “How could you possibly know this?”

“You have that good dick glow going on,” Araminta says with a wave of her hand.

“Did you and Evan sort your shit out, then?” Audrey asks, raising her eyebrows at me.

“Why would you think it was him?”

She rolls her eyes. “Who else is it going to be? You two are obsessed with each other.”

“I wouldn’t say obsessed,” I say.

“I don’t know,he’s definitely a bit obsessed,” Araminta says.

I nod slowly, and then say, “He told me he likes me.”

“He did?” Audrey says with some surprise. “That’s very forthright of him. Did he ask you out?”

“He said he wants to be my stupid American boyfriend.”

“Stupid is right,” Araminta smirks.

“Well, he’s always wanted you, let’s be honest.” Audrey shakes her head. “At least he’s realised now—bit fucking late. So what did you say?”

“Nothing.”

“Do you want to go out with him? You two have always been so weird about each other. It has to be endgame, no?”

“We’ve not been weird, we…” I falter to a stop. How do I even begin to explain us? I sigh. “Look, I don’t know. I don’t even think I could explain how I feel. But it’s the least of my problems right now.” I say. It’s only half a lie. “I don’t have time to worry about anything apart from my exams now. And how to tell my parents about Harvard.”

“Just tell them,” Audrey says, her features softening. “They’ll be proud of you, I know it.”

I sigh. “They had their hearts set on Oxbridge.”

“But you didn’t.”

I nod slowly. “I guess I’m just…” I swallow. “I guess I’m a little scared.”

Audrey walks over to me and takes my hands in hers. “You don’t have to be scared, Sophie. Your whole time at Spearcrest, you’ve never let anyone change you, or scare you out of being the person you’re meant to be. Your parents want what’s best for you, even if their way of showing it can be misguided. And even if they don’t like it, then so what? You have nothing to be afraid of. You’re in charge of your own life.”

Audrey's words stay with me for a long time after that.

Fear has kept me paralysed for longer than I can remember: fear of getting in trouble, of disappointing my parents, of not living up to their expectations. Fear has haunted me every moment since I arrived at Spearcrest: fear of not fitting in, fear of mockery, fear of not being good enough.

Even now that I’ve secured an offer from Harvard, fear is still creeping at my heels like a shadow. Fear that this will all go wrong somehow, that everything will come crashing down on me.

But Audrey is right after all—right as always. There’s nothing to be afraid of. There’s nothing wrong with the truth, with being proud of my achievements and knowing what I want for my future.

I wait until the last day of the half-term to make the call. I'm going to be stuck at school over the holidays, and I don’t want that dark cloud hanging over me.

So I do something that always makes my heart drop and my stomach clench: I dial my mum’s number.

I don't even get time to brace myself because she picks up almost straight away.

“Sophie! Everything okay?”

“Yes, Mum. I’m just calling to update you on my university applications.”

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