Page 80 of Judgment Day

“I’m going to find some coffee,” Tatum said. “If I have to drink one more cup of hot tea, I’m going to scream.”

I huffed a laugh. “You get used to it.”

“You need anything?” she asked as she opened the door. Her eyes moved over my body. “Besides actual clothes?” She laughed.

“Nope. I’m good.” I smacked my own ass. “Paper panties and all.”

Lincoln smirked around the thermometer.

“Right.” Tatum pointed her stare at Linc. “No more heroics, okay?” Then she smiled as she walked out and closed the door.

“Hey,” he said when the nurse pulled the thermometer from his mouth. He grinned and the room lit up around him.

“Hey.” I grinned back. “That was quite the show you put on. Going all Tony Stark and trying to save the world.”

“Everything looks good,” the nurse said. “I’ll be back in about an hour with his meds.” She typed something into a laptop that was perched on a rolling cart, then left us alone.

I stood at the side of his bed, trailing a fingertip along his jaw. “You don’t get to scare me like that ever again.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Songbird.” His hazel eyes danced in the bright fluorescent hospital lights. “And when I do die—because we all do, eventually—I’ll still be with you. Here.” He brought his hand to my chest, right over my heart. “And here.” He reached up and tapped my temple. “And here.” He cupped a hand over my pussy. “I’m in you. Burned into your soul. You’ll never be rid of me.”

I crawled into the bed and curled up against him, careful not to put any pressure on his lung. And we spent the rest of the night like that, with his arms wrapped around me, his warmth flowing through me as we trailed off into sleep.

FORTY SEVEN

The first thingI thought when I saw Lincoln lying in that hospital bed with tubes in his chest and running through his veins was,it should be me.It should never have been him.

I sat in the chair next to his bed and listened as the monitor beeped in time with his heartbeat. It took some work, but Tatum managed to get Lyric to leave with her so that I could have this moment with Lincoln.

I needed it. There were things that needed to be said.

Lyric told me she loved me.

I loved her, too. I loved her so much it fucking ached. I loved her more than I loved anything other than Ciaran. But I couldn’t say it back. I couldn’t give her that kind of hope. Not yet. Not until after this. It wasn’t just about me, or Lyric.Wewere athree. And this wasn’t just about fucking anymore. It was so much deeper than that.

“Sometimes I have these thoughts.” Lincoln’s voice dragged me away out of my head. It was gravelly and thick, like he’d swallowed glass. Our eyes met, and his were heavy from being weak.That should be me.“They’re chaotic, always swirling around in my head.” He half-smiled. “But they’re quiet when she’s around. I think she does that for you, too.”

She did.

She fucking did.

I sat in silence, watching him, letting him finish.

“Me and Lyric had a year together before she was taken from me.” He swallowed hard. “You had four fucking years with her.” He huffed a laugh. More to himself than for me. “Four years. I know what she did to me after one. I can’t imagine what four would do to a man.”

I could tell him it split him open, seeped inside his veins, and consumed his soul. Instead, I said, “I never touched her.” I held his stare. “Other than that one night. I didn’t want to do what I did.” My heart pounded at the memory. “I’ve seen what those men do to women. You’ve seen it.” I shook my head. “I couldn’t let that happen to her, so I became the lesser of two evils. But I never touched her after that. I couldn’t do that to her. Couldn’t do that to you.” I knew she’d told him all of this, but he needed to hear it from me.

“So, why now? You let her go. Why couldn’t you just let her be?” There was no anger or jealousy in his voice. There was only genuine curiosity. I didn’t blame him for that. I’d asked myself the same question.

“Because as much as you don’t want to admit it. I’m a part of her, and she’s a part of me. Like you said—four fucking years.” I swallowed thickly, preparing myself for the next part. “But you’re abiggerpart of her, and if you can’t do this, then I’ll walk away. I’ll leave this room and never come back. And when she asks, I’ll tell her it was all a mistake.” Every word I said was a bullet, piercing my heart.Like the one he’d taken for her, for both of us.I’d said he didn’t deserve her. I was so fucking wrong. “Because she won’t hurt you. She loves you too much. If you don’t want this, she’ll walk away from us both, just like she said. You know she will.”

He blinked, looked away. We both knew it was true.

“Before I let that happen, I’ll let her go. I’d rather her have half a heart than none at all.” My voice broke. Fuck. It felt like someone had wrapped my own heart in a razor-sharp wire and was tugging and pulling. I was fucking bleeding out. “I’ll walk out that door and tell her I can’t do this.” The wire tugged harder, splitting my heart into pieces. “I’ll be her villain.”

His jaw tensed and his gaze hardened. “Fuck that. Fuck you.” He winced and held a hand to his side as he sat up. “You don’t get to make me the insecure guy who can’t handle the pressure while you’re the strong one who walks away from the girl for the greater good. Meanwhile, she lays in bed at night, missing you and resenting me. I’ve seen this movie. I know how it ends. Fuck you. You don’t get to play the hero.”

I closed my eyes and blew out a slow, steady breath as I opened them again. “Strong? You think I’m being strong? You think it doesn’t kill me every time she looks at you like you hung the moon? Every time she touches you? That I don’t want her all to myself?” I leaned forward, close to him, resting my elbows on my knees. “But I get it. She loves us both. We both love her, but to love herright, the way she deserves, we have to respect each other.” I watched the tubes, the IV, the heart monitor, then met his stare. “I know we haven’t always done that, but that’s why I’m here—to tell you I respect the hell out of you. Which is why I’m here instead of with her right now. Just say the word and I’ll go.”

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