Page 27 of Love Rescheduled

I ate and watched Josh easily converse with Alec like they’d known each other for years. I always admired that quality in him. He could make anyone his best friend. With each bite, my blood sugar levels thanked me. The headache I had dissipated.

I sighed in relief, and Josh glanced my way, smiling. “Feel better now?”

I nodded.

“Good. Now my job is done. It was good to meet you, Alec. I’ll touch base with you soon. I look forward to working with you.”

Wait. What? How did I miss that part of the conversation? “Alec is my life coach!” I sounded like a child who was refusing to share a toy.

“There is plenty of me to go around.” Alec chortled.

“Besides, honey, I have a feeling I’m going to need a lot of relationship help in the coming days and weeks.”

I narrowed my eyes at Josh. He better not be talking about us, but I was sure he was. “With Zac?”

Josh fake laughed. “She’s so cute when she’s sarcastic.”

“I really abhor you right now.”

“I’m glad to hear you say that. It’s going to make the making up so much better.” He wagged his brows while placing Lord Mac back in front of me.

I tried very hard not to think of all the make-up scenarios we had played out over our time together. He wasn’t lying, though. The angrier we were at each other, the hotter the reconciliation seemed to be. That being the case, I could only imagine the cosmic levels of heat we would reach if we did indeed make up. But that wasn’t going to happen, no matter how bad my body was begging for it. “You’re insane.”

“You flatter me.” He kissed my cheek before hopping off the bed. “Talk to you later, man,” he called out to Alec.

I touched my cheek, which sizzled from his touch. Then I set my plate on the nightstand before facing a grinning Alec. “Girl, you’re in trouble. That’s off the record, of course.”

“What do you mean?”

“You don’t know? The man is obviously in love with you and determined to get you back.”

I pulled my knees up to my chest. “It will never work.”

“You know I hate the word never.”

“Now you’re taking his side?”

“Natalie, I’m always on your side. I want you to be happy and successful. But you need to ask yourself objectively where you will find your genuine joy. What does Natalie’s voice say?”

I wasn’t sure how to respond. I’d always had a hard time listening to my voice. Sometimes my voice was my worst critic. But was that truly my voice or my parents in disguise?

“You don’t have to answer that now, but give it some serious thought. If Natalie could have her dream, what would that look like?”

Possibly a nightmare. “I’ll think about it.”

“Don’t just think about it. Visualize it. Remember, you can’t control anyone or everything, but you can redirect your thoughts and the way you think about yourself. I think you need to work harder on seeing yourself for who you truly are. Not who your parents or anyone else thinks you are. I have a feeling that might change the way you envision your present and future.”

“Okay,” I said quietly.

“And let me apologize for my unprofessional behavior today. I shouldn’t have allowed for the disruption. Josh has a way about him, doesn’t he?”

Wasn’t that the truth.

AT SIX, I TOOK A break from working. Well, more like staring at my screen. All the words seemed to be a blur. It was dinnertime, but I wasn’t sure if I should emerge from my office. My houseguest was still lurking about. At least he had given me some space to work. Not that it had done me much good. All I could think about was Josh. He was determined to stay and wreak havoc on my life. Tara and Jolene suggested I just let him stay and watch me date other men. We were all still livid about him making me his punchline and the ongoing embarrassment. The video hadn’t died yet. Tara was making a list of names to expose, just in case.

Their suggestion wasn’t terrible, but we all knew how persuasive Josh could be.

Josh wasn’t the only thing on my mind. I thought a lot about what Alec had said. I swore he was daring me to free myself from myself. To let go of others’ opinions of me, especially my parents’. My therapist and I had discussed that for sessions on end. The key, she said, was to recognize that I actually have high self-esteem. She’d said I’d made too many good choices in my life for me not to. Many of which were brought on by a need to control my destiny. So how could control be that bad? Sure, I was lonely, and I had left the only man I ever loved, but I was a successful editor—freelance, of course, because who had time for office politics? Or people? Josh’s life was very people-y.

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