Page 16 of Love Rescheduled

When Jolene made her final bow for the night, Tara and I shouted another round of cheers. I was so proud to call her my friend. She absolutely killed it. But I had a feeling I was about to die inside. There was no way Josh was going to let me leave without some sort of confrontation. It wouldn’t be a shocking revelation to learn that confrontations weren’t my strong suit. Josh loved to face things head-on. He used to love to make me do the same, especially in our relationship. If something he did or a situation bothered me, he wanted to know about it. Not to say he always agreed with my assessments. Oh, no. Josh was a world-class arguer. He really should have been a lawyer. I had to admit; he was good at owning up and apologizing when he did things wrong. Sometimes, I swore he egged on an argument just so we could make up. And could he ever make up.

I needed to stop thinking about the making up; it had me feeling weak in the knees, wishing to do just that. That wasn’t going to be helpful to anyone. I wondered if Josh ever regretted making me feel so comfortable around him that I could easily tell him off. My parents had never even afforded me the luxury of having my own opinion growing up. Sadly, I hadn’t even known couples could have civilized arguments and then forgive each other and be stronger for it. For a long time, I didn’t even know I could be right. Josh had taught me that.

Still, confrontation made me feel queasy. It all went back to the ego thing. Whose voice did I hear? Unfortunately, I heard my parents’ voices all too often telling me all the things I did wrong. That I wasn’t enough. Part of me now felt like I deserved Josh’s earlier humiliation, as messed up as that sounded. Intellectually, I knew that was wrong, but it was hard to shake.

Jolene floated off the stage, smiling from ear to ear.

I was so happy for her. She deserved every second of her triumph. I tried my best to convey how proud I was as I embraced her once she finally made it our way. Words seemed inadequate. Funny, as I considered myself something of a wordsmith. But I knew sometimes a touch said a hundred times more than anything mere words could.

Jolene held on to me as if she knew she was protecting me from what I would face as soon as we let go. “You can do this,” she whispered in my ear. “Who knows, maybe this is just what you need,” she said mysteriously.

I leaned away from her, resisting the urge to disagree with her on her big night. Truly, I wanted this to be all about her. I should have just stayed in my seat and behind the menu until Josh exited the stage. I wasn’t good in unexpected situations. Hence my need for schedules. Like I said, I was going to put Alec on speed dial for the next month.

Tara and I weren’t the only ones wanting to congratulate Jolene. It meant I had to leave the safety of her arms. In a coward’s move, I turned and rushed past Josh, pretending as if he hadn’t just stood there for forty-five minutes staring at me. Where I was going, I didn’t know. And it didn’t matter.

Josh had other ideas. He gently grabbed my arm. Even through my blouse, his touch sent a shiver down my body that I could feel in my toes. His touch was like a welcome home, but I knew it was to a house that was too big and scary for me, like a haunted house but with great lighting and designer furniture.

“We need to talk,” he said lowly.

Did we really, though? I thought that going the passive-aggressive route might be more appropriate. That meant unfollowing him with my alt account. That would really show him. Instead, I found myself following him to the only dressing room on the premises. I desperately tried not to think of the steamy things that had ensued in said room. All unscheduled affection, thank you very much.

Josh opened the door with a large gold star on it and waved me in.

I tiptoed past him, and his Obsession for Men scent hit me. The corners of my lips twitched, thinking of all the times I’d teased him for wearing the popular eighties cologne he claimed was his signature scent. So maybe it still turned me on.

“Do you find me amusing?” There was a hint of hope in his voice.

“Not at all.” Ire for what he had done tonight flowed in my veins, begging to be unleashed.

When he shut the door, leaned against it, and began perusing me, the ire was almost to its boiling point. I hadn’t argued with anyone in almost three years. Weird, I kind of missed it, as much as I didn’t enjoy it. Maybe it was because it meant there was something worth fighting for in my life. I had tried to fight for my relationship with Josh. It just got too hard. All I wanted for him was to live his dreams and be happy. I knew he couldn’t do that with me.

“I can’t believe you’re here.” A hint of affection lingered in his voice, which honestly irked me after what he had done on the stage tonight.

The boiling point hit with fervor. “I can’t believe you accused me in front of everyone of being a thief. What’s wrong with you? I’ve never stolen a thing.”

He folded his arms, smugly. “That’s not true.”

“What have I stolen?”

His faced pinched, making him look menacing. It was a look I had never seen on him. His eyes bored straight into mine. “You stole everything. You stole us.”

That knocked the air right out of me, making me fall back and sink into the couch. The couch that had seen a lot of action. I couldn’t think of that right now, or ever. I had more pressing matters at hand. Like how I had hurt my ex. The pain was apparent in his eyes. Yet … “You moved on awfully quickly.”

“Don’t bring Camila into this.”

“Right,” I scoffed. His precious Camila.

“I know what you’re thinking. And you’re wrong.”

“Am I?” I practically begged him to tell me I was mistaken. That he was faithful to me.

“Dead wrong. You have no idea—” he stopped himself short.

“You’re right. I had no idea what a liar you were,” I said as waspishly as possible.

“You promised me you would never use me in your routine.”

He stepped closer. “Yeah, well, you promised you would always love me, so I guess we’re both liars.”

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