Page 10 of Love Rescheduled

She reached over and patted my knee. I was wearing a cute overall dress with tights and booties. It was much more subdued than the sleeveless sequined jumpsuit Tara was rocking. My friends were fashion risk-takers, and I was not. Jolene was sure to be in something leather or leopard print or a combination of the two. No doubt she’d be rocking stilettos while she was at it. The girl was six feet tall and owned every inch. She towered over me and Tara, who were both around five foot six. With that said, you can’t wear sequins or leopard print and stay invisible. Hence my boring outfit.

“I’m excited for you.” She gave my knee a little squeeze.

“I’m excited for me, too. It’s been a while.” I looked out the window. It was all familiar, yet it felt so foreign. Sometimes it seemed that my time in Tennessee was a lifetime ago, or more like someone else’s life. I’d come to live in Nashville when I was nineteen to go to school after attending a community college in South Carolina. I’d ended up getting a full-ride scholarship to the university here after winning a writing contest. Nana encouraged me to go even though it meant working two jobs just to pay for rent and food. But it was worth it. Not only did I meet Jolene and Tara, who were both student journalists while I served as the editor for the school’s newspaper, but I learned I could do hard things. Like helping Tara and Jolene pass all their classes. They loved the study charts and pretests I would make for them every time final exams rolled around. And sometimes I learned I could even step outside my comfort zone when I had to. But that was exhausting.

I think that was a good word for Josh’s life—exhausting. Not that he exhausted me. He didn’t. No, he enlivened me in ways I didn’t know were possible. But his life and this town were too much for me. All the glaring lights and perpetually packed streets full of concert and clubgoers were not my cup of tea. My cup of tea was being curled up with a good book and sipping tea. Throw a man in there, too. There was nothing I loved more than being at home with Josh on a rainy day when we had nowhere to be, snuggled up together, looking up fascinating facts. But Josh wasn’t meant to be only mine. The world was his stage, and I refused to be selfish.

There had to be someone else out there for me who didn’t have the world constantly begging for his attention. Maybe I could be enough for that man, even with my quirkiness. As a bonus, I would bring Alec into the relationship.

Tara found a parking spot in a paid lot not too far away. My stomach dropped looking at all the people wrapped around the building waiting to get into the club. I was happy so many people were clamoring to see my friend. I just wished visiting this club didn’t mean having to see Josh’s head painted on the side of the building in the company of some other famous comedians who had performed there as well. Even with a brick canvas as the background, he was cute. He had this Paul Rudd, boy-next-door vibe about him. Attractive, but not overly so. It was more his personality that made you fall in love with him.

Tara grabbed my hand. “I know this is a big deal for you, but you got this. Forget about what’s-his-name, even though his pictures are plastered all over the walls.” She cringed. “Just don’t look at anything inside.”

I nodded, feeling like I might vomit if I spoke. I needed to tune into my inner Alec, focusing on gratitude and envisioning the night as I wished it to go. I saw myself bravely walking in and sitting at a table near the stage so I could cheer on my best friend. Of course, I was going to be laughing hysterically—mostly on the inside, because I would be too self-conscious to laugh too loudly. But Jolene would know by my smile and shaking shoulders that I was all in for her performance. I also envisioned, or more like fervently prayed, no one would recognize me.

It’s not like Josh ever posted about us. We shared the need for privacy in that way. Although he had seemed to change his tune during his engagement to Camila. They’d plastered selfies of themselves everywhere. Josh had even done the same kind of over-the-top proposal he previously deemed comedic. Whatever. He was my past, and what he did with his life was his own business; you know, except every week when I stalked him for twenty minutes like I had today at the airport while I was waiting for my late flight. I should probably stop doing that. Today would be my last stalking episode, I vowed. I would close my alt account and unfollow him everywhere. I didn’t need to know that he was house hunting in LA and making funny videos to mock the process or that he still had a defined chest.

“Let’s go,” I said before I lost my nerve. I opened my door when Tara got a text.

“Just a sec.” She pulled out her phone and went ashen.

“Everything okay?”

“Uh … yeah … yeah. Jolene just wanted to make sure we got here. She says it’s best for us not to meet her in the greenroom. It’s a zoo,” she stammered.

“Is she okay?”

“Oh, yeah,” Tara said in pitch well above her normal soprano voice.

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely,” she laughed maniacally.

“You’re scaring me.”

She took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. “I’m fine. Everything is A-okay.” She sounded like she said that more to herself than to me.

“If you say so.”

“I do.” She grabbed her silk coat and flew out of the car.

I grabbed my jacket and met her outside in the just-at-freezing temps, the frigid humidity hitting me in the face. “Do we need to get in line, then?” I wasn’t looking forward to waiting out in the cold, though they should be opening the doors soon.

“She said to go to the front; Mikey will let us cut in line.”

“Mikey, as in the owner?” My stomach rolled in nauseous waves.

“Hey, Mikey loves you. He always asks how you’re doing. He’s going to be so happy to see you again.”

I did like Mikey. He was always good to me, making sure there were fresh fruits and veggies in the greenroom for me whenever Josh was performing.

Tara came around the car, sparkling in the light of the streetlamps, and grabbed my hand. “Come on.”

I followed her like a zombie, except much faster. She was on a mission, halting traffic in the middle of the street so we could cross. I didn’t know what the big hurry was since we weren’t meeting Jolene before the show. It bummed me out I couldn’t wish her luck in person. I wondered why the greenroom was crazy. It was normally just for the opening and major acts and whomever their guests were. Tara and I were Jolene’s people, and I couldn’t imagine Kegan Carr, the opening act, had an entourage. From his social media accounts I gathered this was probably the biggest gig he had done.

Tara meant business, marching us past the crowd of people blowing into their hands and huddling together for warmth. We got a lot of stares asking who we thought we were to cut to the front of the line.

We almost made it to the entrance when Mikey called out, waving his arm, “Tara, Natalie, this way!”

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