Page 45 of Pack’s Pledge

I’d let her get too close. I’d gotten lazy, gotten greedy, thinking I could have Britt as my own. Thinking that maybe, maybe…

This is why you left, all those years ago. I cursed myself, pacing back and forth in my bedroom.How could you have forgotten?

I’d wanted to protect her.

I’d failed.

And I’d failed Beau, too. Not just at the club, although that was unforgivable. But every day, since I’d seen her again, since I’d seen Beau kiss her on the dance floor and been so entranced by the sight of them together that I’d shoved aside the knowledge that itcouldn’thappen.

And before then, too—the knife twisted further, deeper—because it was so obvious what he needed, and I’d been pretending I didn’t see it. Been taking him to that stupid fucking club every time he needed more, had been ignoring what what right in front of me—that Beau needed a real pack. Needed alphas who could give himeverything.

I was a failure.

A failure of an alpha, who couldn’t be what his pack needed him to be. Couldn’t give what they needed him to give.

And a failure of a man, who couldn’t control his alpha around a sweet, trusting woman who deserved better. Deserved more. Deservednormal.

I ground my teeth together, my fists clenched to keep from punching something.

“Fuck,” I swore, under my breath, my muscles tight. This was the curse, wasn’t it. Too much power—but not enough strength to keep myself in line. To protect her from this.

From me.

I had to do something. I threw open my door, moving on automatic down the hallway until I found myself at the door of our home gym. I never used it. It was for Beau’s benefit, honestly, he was the only one who used it regularly. Adrian joined him sometimes.

Fucked him on the mats, more like, I thought with a twist of my lips.Jesus. It was so obvious, in retrospect:Adrianknew what Beau needed.Heshould be pack alpha.

I shut my eyes tight, swallowing down the thick, choking shame that threatened to pull me under, fighting the instinct to run.

I closed my hand over the doorknob.

I couldn’t.

If I wanted to punch something, I could punch a sand bag.

If I wanted to run, I could get on the neglected treadmill and run and run until my legs gave out, until I had no choice but to sleep.

I pushed into the gym, and was startled by the loud, thumping baseline that greeted me, the scent of sweat and sweetness in the air, the dank, damp scent of frustration and the sour taste of sadness.

“Hey,” Beau said, from over by the weight rack. He put the free weights down hurriedly, then turned down his music. “Are you okay?”

“What?” I asked, confused. “Yeah. I just came to—”Run away. “To work out.”

Beau’s brows lifted, but he said nothing, just picked up his weights again.

I made my way to the treadmill. It would be too embarrassing to punch a weight bag in front of Beau, my technique sloppy, my muscles unearned. Beau’s face was set as he lifted first one weight, then the other, his biceps bulging as I started up the belt, walking first, then with a beep, turning it up to a brisk jog.

A clank sounded from behind me.Beau. I turned to check on him, but he was facing away.

“I’m sorry,” he said, suddenly.

“What?” I said again.

“Adrian told me Britt left this afternoon. I’m sorry,” he repeated. “About… I shouldn’t have gone to Ardor.”

“You didn’t know,” I said. My feet pounded the treadmill. My head throbbed.

“I did know, though,” he said. “I knew how much she means to you. And I jeopardized that.”

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