Page 38 of Sweet Lies

“Okay. We leave at eight.”

I nod at his decision and escape into the bathroom again. I have no desire to say any more—I just want to crawl into bed and sleep.

The room is dark with no TV on when I return. Andre is lying on the bed, facing the door. I slide in next to him and stare at the ceiling for a bit before rolling away from him. My eyes close. Before I drift into sleep, I feel dampness on my cheeks. Tears for the past and what should have been.

Andre’s hand slips into mine. Our fingers interlock, and I hold his hand as tight as I can, letting him anchor me as he’s done so many times before.

ChapterThirteen

REBECCA

The next two weeks go by quickly, crossing off name after name, and for the most part, I’m handling everything on my own. I can’t help but feel a pang of sadness the further down the list we get, though. I know Andre will be leaving soon, and as much as I wish I could say I don’t care, I do. I’ll miss him and hate myself for it.

“Let’s order something in,” Andre says, picking up the hotel phone.

“Sounds good. Pizza?”

“Meat lover’s?” he asks, already knowing the answer.

I laugh. “Is there any other kind worth having?” I ask, turning on the TV to an old black-and-white movie. I move the pillows around on the bed and make myself comfy.

After the order is placed, he lies next to me. Each night we’ve been drifting closer and closer. His eyes are closed, his fingers caressing my arm in tiny circles. The little touches here and there are driving me crazy. The feeling he gives me has been building for years, and now it’s about to burst.

“What are you thinking?” I ask, needing to hear his voice—and hopefully distract myself from the fantasies running through my mind.

“Nothing.”

“That’s odd. I feel like you always have something going on behind the scenes. A new plot or exit strategy.”

He smiles at my words, and butterflies invade. “True. But for some reason, it gets quiet with you. At least in this room. Outside of this room, I can’t seem to find peace.”

“Hm,” I mutter.

“What?” he asks, opening his eyes.

“I feel the same way. Maybe we should stay here forever. Let everything else melt away. No more revenge or death. Just leave it all behind.”

“Could you do that? Now you’ve tasted this life, could you leave it alone?”

I think for a moment, considering all the options. I feel like this is a dream—like we’ll wake up in the morning and it will never have happened.

“I could,” I respond truthfully. “I lived outside of it, or at least as much as I could. You and I could have the picket fence if we wanted,” I add, hoping somewhere deep inside me he’ll say yes, and I won’t be alone any longer. With him, I feel alive. I feel like I’m home.

He’s silent for a moment, and I wonder if he’ll say yes. For a split second, I let myself picture it. Our life.

It only takes a second for him to answer.

“I don’t have it in me. I’m not good. I was never meant to be. I was born into this life, the same as you, but there’s something vastly different between us. You are the light. If you stay in the darkness, you’ll lose all the best parts of yourself. And I don’t want to be the reason you lose that. I can’t be.”

“You give me far too much credit.”

“Maybe, but it’s deserved.”

I sit up and stare down at him, into his eyes. I let everything else slip away—the past, the present, and the future dissolve. It’s only us in this moment as I take control over what I want and meet his lips with my own.

For a second, I fear he’ll turn away and deny me what I want out of some sense of responsibility. Instead, his lips move firmly against my own. His hands brush over my arms before moving up and touching my face. He’s letting me have control. An odd thing for a man like Andre, but he knows that’s what I need—and that it’s new for me.

I deepen our kiss, our tongues dancing together in harmony as if we’ve done this a hundred times before. Our bodies seem to know each other and move as one.

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