Derek’s hands rested on my hips. He stood with his forehead pressed to mine, leaning into me against that wall, but he didn’t say a word. The silence lingered for seconds, which turned to minutes. He stared down at my half-exposed breasts crushed against his chest. I felt his dick between us soften, his own lust expelled, and still, he stood there. If there were ever a time for me to tell him how I felt, what was happening in my body, it was now.
So why couldn’t I bring myself to do it?
I parted my lips to speak, but before I could, he did.
“Maggie, you can’t leave. Not because of this. We can still make this work. The sex we have is incredible. No one has to know.” He didn’t pull away, but the warmth between us vanished. Luckily for him, my anger was spent. My heart might have felt empty, but so was my emotional gas tank.
“You have to stay,” he whispered, but I got the distinct impression that he meant at the office, because of our patients. It had nothing to do with my heart or us having a relationship. If it did, it was purely for the sex—which admittedly was really incredible.
“Fine.” I sighed, letting my hands drop from around his waist. He backed away and turned away from me, finding his clothes. I stood and watched him for a moment, wondering how I could be so stupid as to be fooled by this act again. My heart was so heavy. How could he not see that I was totally in love with him?
“Emotions just get messy sometimes.” Derek stepped into his pants and pulled them up. I retrieved mine, only halfway listening to him. I turned my back on him to dress too, fixing my top and sliding my feet into my flats. “Things don’t have to get messy. Okay?”
I had to choke back a sob that wanted to come out, and my eyes blinked furiously, trying to keep the tears at bay. That’s what he really thought... that emotions would make this messy? The cum, now dried on my inner thigh, clung to my scrubs and made it uncomfortable, so I used it as an excuse to leave. I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to smack some sense into him, make him understand that emotions were not messy.
What was messy was my being pregnant, alone, with no help from him because I wasn’t about to tell him I was pregnant, only to have him do the honorable thing. I wanted him to love me for me, because he finally admitted to himself that he needed me for more than just sex.
“I want to get home and shower. This mess is gross.” I picked up my bag and the few items that had fallen out of it when he dropped it, and I slung it over my shoulder. This time, when I went for the door, he didn’t stop me. But he did call after me.
“I’ll see you tomorrow?”
I paused, listening to the sound of him zipping his zipper up. My heart was broken, and I wanted to curl up and cry, but I nodded. “Tomorrow.”
I drove home the long way, listening to sad love songs on repeat. I’d gotten myself into this chaos, and it was my bed to lie in. I just wished my bed weren’t so lonely.
CHAPTERTWENTY-ONE
Derek
Maggie seemedreluctant when I invited her to attend the children’s hospital benefit, but she had agreed. I hired a limo to take us, an expense I didn’t have to go to, and one I wouldn’t have splurged on if Sofia had been my plus one for the evening, but I wanted her to feel special. I got the feeling after sex in the supply closet that I had somehow let her down, as if begging her to stay and telling her I needed her weren’t enough.
Things had been more civil in the office, at least. She had started having lunch with the group again, though she didn’t eat much at all, merely picked at her food. And we hadn’t argued at all, but I also hadn’t felt that spark between us, like somehow, she had withdrawn. Part of me wondered whether it was the guy from lunch that day or if I really had fucked up that badly.
But when I pulled up to her house and she walked out the front door wearing that emerald-green, cinched mermaid gown, everything was forgotten. I hurried out of the limo without waiting for the chauffeur to open the door and jogged up the sidewalk to meet her, offering my arm. The way the dress hugged her hips, accentuating her perfect hourglass figure, made my heart race a little. The off-the-shoulder gown had a plunging neckline that offered ample view of her cleavage, and the golden locket that hung around her neck rested just above her breasts, drawing my eye downward.
“You look gorgeous.”
Maggie carried herself with the poise and confidence I had grown to expect from her. I just hadn’t realized how stunning she truly was. Her hair had been swept up into a French twist and pinned down with a gold clip slathered in jewels, exposing her neckline and a tiny tattoo on the back of her neck shaped like a heart. She rested her hand on my arm, and I guided her to the limo, where the driver finally had the door held open for us.
Once she was seated, I slid in after her and the driver shut us in. Her perfume permeated the air in the cabin, something floral but delicate, not overpowering. I wasn’t sure what to say to her, so I told her again how beautiful she looked.
“That gown is just stunning on you.” She smiled at me politely and hugged her small black clutch to her waist as the car took off.
“So, this is for the new children’s hospital they’re building on Route 203 near Durnsville?” She watched out the window as the limo sped away from her home and out of her neighborhood. When I didn’t respond, she looked back at me.
“Yes, uh, four hundred dollars a plate, and Sofia already paid for hers. She said to find someone else to attend in her place since their move got pushed up.” I was repeating information she already knew, but I felt like an awkward schoolboy, tongue-tied and nervous.
Maggie nodded. “And Gypsy will be there too?” She eyed me cautiously, as if she were testing me for some reason.
“Yeah, she has her own date. Someone from phlebotomy, she said. I guess he bought his own ticket a while back.” It was hard to keep it professional when she was so fucking hot. My eyes kept migrating back to that damn plunging neckline and her tits, and she kept giving me a look of disapproval.
The entire ride to the event was full of surface-level conversation. As awkward as that was, things got even worse the very instant we stepped out of the limo onto the awaiting red carpet. The director of obstetrics, Judy Sommers, shook my hand and eyed Maggie.
“Well, Dr. Holt, I expected to see Sofia. Who is this lovely lady who has captured your heart?” The older woman shook my hand and smiled at Maggie, who blushed.
“Ah, Dr. Sommers, we’re not dating. This is Magnolia Brock. She’s the nutritionist we hired in the spring.” Judy clicked her tongue and winked at Maggie.
“Yes, dear. Well, you keep telling yourself that.”