Page 20 of Hostile King

He nods, taps the side of my face affectionately, and jogs towards the chopper. I drag both hands down my face as jealousy, fear, and loss trips the switch in my head.

Everything goes hazy. A second of vulnerability. A moment of despair.

I love her even though I don’t want to. I’ll never admit it. Not to anyone.

My scalp prickles. Memories of her roll in the mist. That sweet-as-sin smile she always gave me, even when I’d just fucked her raw. How the touch of her warm skin rocketed shivers over my scalp every damn time. How she stared at me with curiosity, not fear, accepting the bad guy with a crooked crown. She understood my defective mind like no one else on earth.

After a beat of hesitation, the downdraft whirls around me and coaxes me back from the brink. I spin around, my eyes darting skyward where blurry blades slice up a rich, inky sky.

She’s gone.

I focus on the intermittent flash of a red beacon until the aircraft becomes a distant speck. Fisting the exact location of where my heart bleeds, I try to inhale and exhale through the excruciating pain. Already the devil inside me is lonely.

“Sir?” A waiting soldier calls after me.

I ignore him and storm towards the house, my mood a destructive hurricane. I’m alone in the dark, roaming in the safety of shadows unable to find my way out. I’m not equipped to deal with distorted instincts or the inner howl of a guilty conscience. Every whisper and thought within me warns of the wrong decision I just made.

My thoughts travel to the wretched second I had understood what loving someone meant. How my terrified heart burst out of my chest the instant I pulled the trigger and watched my uncle’s eyes forfeit a glassy sheen of pride before drifting to vacant.

Too many years of suffocating guilt hisses under my skin with blistering heat. History and evil deeds, all shrouded in blood and destruction haunt me until I’m all but a shell, no good for anyone—no good for Carina.

It tears me to pieces until my headspace is adrift and my powerful muscles have diminished to skin and bone.

Sending her away isn’t the worst thing I could do—it’s stealing her priceless life, because I hit my limit. We both know I more or less strangled her in a sadistic, passionate hysteria. I’m all for a bit of rough play, but that was on the wrong side of fun.

It wasn’t my intention to unravel, or to let my self-control get away from me.

However, she brings out a side of me I don’t understand. A man floundering outside of his torment, who commands ownership of a human life, and the acute necessity to belong to her. I demand to be the only man she’d ever feel inside her mind, body, and soul.

As an uprising of acid threatens to make me vomit, I stride towards the soulless home I’ve always hated. For her safety and for my sanity, our threaded paths have split ways yet again.

There’s no place for weakness and no way I’d reveal it to anyone. I’ve chosen the life I was born into and the burden of a death-dealing crown I rightfully wear. That is my destiny. Not chasing women.

Angelo had foreseen my future. He knew I’d be a legendary ruler, and now it’s time to step the fuck up to the throne and take my seat. A headache crests with each thunderous footstep, the doubt of my life ever being the same is a cruel fable.

I’ve had enough of quarrelling with the out-of-control emotions broiling within me. It’s time to let go. I don’t appreciate the distraction Carina causes, or how her feminine presence inflames me with compassion.

Mentally stepping into my father’s demonic shoes, I slip into the mindset he had cursed me with. Ruling our kingdom is the priority. A life outside of it is pointless.

“Tomás?” Mother stops pacing the instant I cross over the threshold. “Son…” Her tone changes from fierce mafia queen preparing revenge on the General to placating mother. “Where’s the girl?”

My feet keep moving, my tense body on a crash course to hunt out hot water and decontaminated clothes. “I sent her away,” I mutter, unsure if this is really a nightmare and I’ll wake up with Carina plastered over my chest. “Our agreement ran its course. Now you can help the Mexicans plan a wedding.”

My veins thicken with poisonous regret, the toxicity reaching my heart, and destroying its rhythm. It would be impossible for her to love me in this darkness.

“Where’s Shane?” I bark, my heart turning to stone as I reach the foot of the stairway I’ve climbed too many times to count.

My gaze sweeps the empty stairs where the ghost of Carina pauses mid-way, all alone, her exquisite figure gilded in gold, wearing the dress I’d ripped from her hips like an animal devouring its prey. A slight smile dances on her pretty lips, her fierce eyes blaze and her posture exudes regal elegance.

The blood drains from my limbs, my emotions are haywire. I’m bonded to the cold tiles with zero energy to take one more step. Debilitating remorse flips my stomach, the acidic bile torching my decision.

A gentle hand settles on my shoulder and powdery perfume weaves through the insanity I’m lost in.

“Oh, son…sometimes the right decision isn’t always the obvious one.” Her caring voice drags me away from the stunning hallucination.

I swallow against the hammering pulse in my throat, grit my teeth, and let go of the stirring memory. “It’s done now, Mama. If she stayed, I’d only end up killing her. After the wedding, things will return to normal.”

Fuck normal…

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