Page 93 of You Had Me At Thirteen

I shake my head as I wave my hand dismissively. ‘Doesn’t matter… anyway, I should get going,’ I say, glancing back at my safe place.

‘Sure, it was really nice to meet you,’ Carla says, a genuine smile on her face.

I attempt to smile back, but it falls flat. ‘You, too.’

‘You better be ready,’ Wren says, startling me as he races down the porch steps. The smile on his face is the same one he wears when he’s happy. The one he uses when he’s with me. He doesn’t notice me until Carla turns around to face him.

My mouth goes dry, as Wren’s smile fades. He’s looking at me as though I’m the last person he wants to see right now.

‘I’ll give you two a moment,’ Carla says as she heads for her car. As Wren passes her, she rubs his shoulder, as if preparing him for what’s about to come. Am I the only one unsure of what’s happening right now?

When he’s in front of me, he runs a hand through his hair, guilt on his face just like Dad’s when my mum found out he had cheated again. I should walk away and slam the door in his face, but my body betrays me like it does every time Wren’s involved.

He clears his throat. ‘Hey.’

I wrap my arms around my waist, hugging myself. ‘You left early today. Is everything okay?’ I’m begging my heart to stop pounding in my ears, my teeth clamping down on my bottom lip to distract myself from throwing up.

Wren rubs the back of his neck as he glances behind him to the midnight blue hatchback still sitting in his driveway. I can’t see Carla from the dark tint, but I sure as hell can feel her eyes on us. On me. Is she laughing at how stupid I am? Or does she want to punch me? Rearrange my face so I’ll never sleep with the same dark-haired traitor as her ever again?

‘Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?’

‘I don’t know, maybe because you left me like some whore in the bathroom today.’

Wren clears his throat. ‘Yeah… Sorry about that,’ he says as he stares at his feet, kicking the concrete driveway.

‘Why are you sorry? You don’t owe me an explanation. I’m sure I’m not that special.’

‘Jesus, Matilda. I don’t have time for this shit right now.’ Wren presses his fingers to his temples as he pushes out a breath. ‘Can we talk later?’

I clamp down on my bottom lip harder, so I don’t say what I really want to say. There are no words right now that will make this situation any better. With a huff, I spin on my heels and head for the porch, letting my tears fall as the realisation comes crashing down on me. This is it. Wren and I are done. It stirs in our unspoken words.

‘Matilda?’

Quickly wiping my eyes, I turn around as Wren steps forward, his face pained as he stares up at me. He opens his mouth to say something, but then closes it again. I can’t look at his guilt anymore, so I close my eyes and turn away from him again. Forcing myself inside, I lock the door and rest against it, my breathing coming quick as I realise Wren might fuck Carla the same way he fucks me.

FORTY-ONE

Wren

* * *

I’d called my cousin Carla after we found out my mum’s medication wasn’t working and the cancer had spread throughout her body. Mum begged me to bring her in and after some back and forth with details, working out the logistics, she’d agreed to be Mum’s palliative care nurse.

Mum didn’t want to die in the hospital with strangers, so calling my cousin in to help seemed to ease some of her anxiety. Me, on the other hand, I haven’t given up hope. There are still options, I just have to find another one before it’s too late.

Besides, having Carla here will help me, and she’s one of my favourite people in my life, even if she is a pain in the arse most of the time. There’s four years between us, but Carla left school in grade ten to go straight into nursing school, so when I called her to let her know what was going on, she planned with her work to come and care for my mum.

I rub the back of my neck as I watch Matilda walk away from me. The thing about Matilda is she wears everything she’s thinking on her face. And just now her face told me she thinks something is going on between Carla and me, which is gross, but Matilda doesn’t know we’re related because I didn’t bother to tell her. That may have been because I’m furious. With everything that’s happened between us the last couple of days, I at least thought she’d have the decency to fucking trust me. At first, I planned on telling her everything, until the moment I saw the accusation on her face. Yes, I’m a dick for that, and also for running out on her today in the bathroom, but I needed a moment to gather my thoughts.

I’ll let her believe the shit running through her head, if only for a little while. Bad habits are hard to break, so if I’m in pain, then everyone else should suffer too.

She deserves to feel like crap for even thinking I’d cheat on her. But why do I feel like the biggest arsehole in the world right now? She’s the only one I want, but if she can’t trust me, where does that leave us?

I sink into the passenger seat of Carla’s car while some girly pop song blares through the speakers. Carla sings at the top of her lungs, the noise piercing my eardrums.

‘Jesus, can you turn that shit down?’

Carla gives me the finger as she pretends she never heard me, so I turn the dial myself, thankful my eardrums haven’t exploded.

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