Page 60 of You Had Me At Thirteen

‘Haylee and Nola, you two get over and practice your hurdles. Matilda, you’re with me.’ He waves me on as the other two head in the opposite direction.

As I follow Coach over to the starting line, I notice the football team warming up on the field beside the track. Stupid Derek and his stupid friends. Regret isn’t something that comes to mind when I recall the incident with him. He’s still rocking two black eyes, and he’s been benched for a few weeks until his nose heals. But, I’m glad he got smacked up.

I didn’t tell Wren this, but I liked the way he had my back. Although I was furious, after sleeping on it, Wren’s protectiveness over me had me basking in all the feels. Sure, I have Audrey and Clive, but when Wren stepped up for me… There are no words for how that felt.

‘Christ, Matilda,’ Coach says. ‘Get with it. I can’t have my star athlete losing it right before the meet.’

‘Sorry,’ I say and ready myself at the starting line. Three and three-quarter laps of a 400-metre track is all it will take to make or break me. It doesn’t sound like much, but for me it’s everything. The 1,500 metres is my best race, and I have a real shot at winning it. Losing isn’t an option – I have to win to make everything okay again.

‘You ready?’ Coach pulls out his stopwatch and looks at me expectantly.

‘Yep.’ I focus in front of me, steadying my breathing and heart rate.

When Coach blows the whistle, I take off, pumping my legs and arms hard with each stride. I’ve run this track, and plenty others, more times than I’d brushed my teeth. I could do it with my eyes closed, but the closer the meet gets, the more I feel like something is missing. I don’t know what it is, but it’s eating at me.

My whole life since my dad died has been about proving I’m worth it, that I’m good enough. He saw something in me, even if it was only about what I could do for him. Someone to brag about, but not someone to love.

As I make my way round the track, I shake off my anxiety with each breath, the warm, humid air filling my lungs and settling on my skin. My strides get faster, and I’m at ease, a smile playing on my lips when a sense of euphoria engulfs me, the runner’s high hitting hard. It’s been a while since I’ve felt this much enjoyment from my running.

Eat shit, Sunny State.

Coach hits the stopwatch when I cross the finish line, but I don’t bother turning to him just yet. I have to catch my breath, so I walk off the burning in my legs and lungs. I pushed myself just now, and I need a minute to come down from the high. Or throw up.

Sucking in deep breaths, my hands on my hips, I make my way over to Coach before he goes into meltdown mode. He doesn’t give me anything, his expression blank, so I’m unsure if I flunked or what.

But then he nods, a grin spreading over his face. ‘I’ll admit that I was wrong,’ he says. ‘Whatever you’ve been doing, keep doing it. That was the fastest I’ve seen you at training in a while.’

My breath comes rushing out and I fist bump the air before resting my hands on my thighs, nausea taking over for a second time. This newfound sense of motivation flowing through my veins is the inspiration I needed. So much for feeling like something is missing. It seems I was wrong about that, after all.

Audrey cheers me on from the stands, her screams echoing through the almost-empty track and field stadium.

Coach shakes his head. ‘Audrey, stop distracting my athletes.’

Audrey clamps her mouth shut and salutes him. ‘Sorry, Coach.’

He rolls his eyes with a smirk, turning to me again. ‘Go on, get home. See you again next week.’

‘Thanks Coach,’ I say, then wave at Haylee and Nola before jogging towards my best friend.

When I reach Audrey, she wraps her arms around me. ‘Damn, Til. You were on fire.’

‘I know. God, it feels so good.’ I’m giddy with excitement, almost bouncing on my toes at how good I feel.

She raises an eyebrow. ‘Would it have something to do with a certain hot neighbour?’

Wren who? Screw him. I’m not letting him ruin this for me.

‘No.’ I throw my bag over my shoulder and head for the exit. ‘Why would you say that?’

Audrey races to catch up. ‘He’s under your skin, Til, just admit it.’

She’s right, but I won’t admit it. ‘It’s not about him, I can assure you.’

‘Well, whatever has you moving that fast, it must be good.’ She nudges me with her hip.

‘Not funny. Take me home.’

‘Come on then.’ She throws her arm over my shoulders as we walk to her car.

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