Page 116 of You Had Me At Thirteen

It startles me, and I almost drop the box. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—’

He rubs his eyes. ‘It’s fine.’

‘Is this from all the fights?’

He nods. ‘It’s the only way I could make enough money, but that didn’t matter once the medication stopped working.’

‘Is that why you stopped?’

‘That’s part of it.’

‘What’s the other part?’

‘I have…’ He clears his throat as he rubs the back of his neck. ‘Hadyou.’

Tears prick my eyes, and I fight to keep them contained. ‘I’m really sorry about everything I said. I was so mad about losing, not at you. I’ve never lost like that, and my dad… he… he…’

Wren grabs me and pulls me to his chest, wrapping me in his warmth. ‘You don’t need to apologise, Matilda. I get it.’

‘Yes, I do. You mean more to me than any race.’

He kisses the top of my head, letting me sob into his chest. It should be me holding him, but even with everything he’s going through right now, he’s here for me.

And I threw him away like he was nothing, when in fact he’s everything. He’s the damn sun on a spring day, when the flowers have blossomed again after a cold winter. He’s the rain against the window in the middle of watching a scary movie. He’s the jump scare that sends your heart racing and he’s also the comfort food to make everything all better.

And I’m the train to nowhere, weaving between mountains to get to a safe place that doesn’t exist. Except, right here in his arms, wrapped up in his warmth, my headlights have something to focus on. A direction. A way home. Maybe Wren is my safe place after all.

FIFTY-TWO

Matilda

* * *

‘I’ll be over in a second,’ Wren says as he walks to the front door of his house.

Since Deb’s funeral, Wren and I have been inseparable, driving to and from school together, then spending every afternoon and most nights wrapped in each other or fucking each other senseless.

He’s getting there, I think. There are moments when I catch him trying to hide his pain, and I’m learning when to shut my mouth. He’ll shut me out if I push too hard, so it’s a tightrope act between us right now, but it’s one I’m happy to walk.

I blow him a kiss as I lift my shirt to flash him. The look on his face tells me he’s not impressed, so I dart inside before I face the wrath of Wren.

As I place my schoolbag on the tiles at the front door, I call up the stairs to my mum. ‘Mum, I’m home.’

I head into the kitchen to make some popcorn, since Wren and I are planning to watch a movie. Wren said I could choose, so long as it isn’t horror. I don’t understand how no-one else likes horror movies.

Mum still hasn’t answered, so I call up the stairs again. ‘Mum?’

Still no answer.

The clock on the wall tells me Mum finished work over two hours ago, and her car is in the driveway.

Maybe she’s asleep, but I decide to check on her anyway, and race upstairs, two steps at a time. When I barge into her room, instant regret floods my body. My hands fly to my eyes.

Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

I can’t un-see my mum on top of some guy. Both naked.

‘Matilda! Christ.’ Mum attempts to cover her top half, as though I’ve never seen her boobs before.

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