Page 108 of You Had Me At Thirteen

‘Hey Deb, how are you feeling today?’

As she takes a sip through the straw, her eyes close, and she takes a moment to open them. ‘Oh, you know, like death.’ She laughs, but there’s no sound.

Even in death, she still has her sense of humour. If Wren knew I’ve been coming here when he was out, he’d lose his shit. But honestly, I couldn’t care less. I love Deb just as I do my mother.

The chair’s legs scrape as I drag it across the room and place it next to the bed, the machines beeping as they keep Deb’s body alive. She reaches out a clammy hand, and I take it in mine.

‘How are you, sweetheart?’ she says after she clears her throat.

I lift a shoulder. ‘I’m okay.’

She searches my face. ‘It’s fine if you aren’t okay, Til. My son doesn’t make things easy, that’s for sure.’

‘He’s so angry at me. What am I supposed to do?’

Her head falls to the side, her eyes dull as she frowns. ‘He’s angry at the world. I don’t think anyone can snap him out of it this time.’

‘It’s all my fault, though. I pushed him away, made him think… God, he won’t even talk to me.’

Deb rubs the back of my hand. ‘Give him some time. Since the medication stopped working, he’s been lost. He’s fighting a battle none of us can win for him.’

‘That’s true. But it’s not just that. I really hurt him and I don’t know what the hell to do.’

Deb smiles. ‘To be young and in love again. Trust me, he’ll forgive you. We all say things we don’t mean in the heat of the moment. You’ve forgiven him for the things he said.’

‘You didn’t see his face.’ I recall the look of disgust on Wren’s face before he walked away from me. Tears prick my eyes, but I swipe them away before Deb sees them.

‘Well, if I know my son, he’ll fight you tooth and nail because he doesn’t know how to show his feelings.’

‘You know him well,’ I say, wiping my nose, a small smile playing on my lips. ‘Anyway, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be bothering you with my drama.’

‘Don’t be silly. I look forward to our moments together. It’s like having a daughter. Lord knows Wren won’t open up to me about anything, so it’s nice for a change.’

Deb coughs, so I hand her a tissue. When she pulls it away, blood stains the soft white paper, but she hides it. And I don’t let on that I saw anything, but it’s a reminder of her fragility.

A tear slips down her cheek and her face grows serious. ‘He’s going to need you when I’m gone.’

‘I’m not going anywhere.’

More tears fall as she squeezes my hand. ‘I know. Just keep fighting for him.’

‘I will. I promise. He’s not getting rid of me that easy.’

She smiles, and wipes her cheeks with her palms before she sinks further into the pillow, closing her eyes. When her breathing settles into a shallow, but steady rhythm, I take that as my cue to leave, so I kiss her hand then tiptoe across the room and close the door behind me.

He’s going to need you when I’m gone.

Carla is still at the kitchen table drinking her tea when I enter. She holds up the cup. ‘Want one Til?’

I shake my head. ‘Nah, I’m good. Thanks anyway.’

‘You okay?’

‘Not really. I will be, though.’ With a small smile, I try to convince myself of those words.

‘It’s tough, but you and Wren have the rest of your lives to fight and make up.’

I laugh. ‘Yeah, that’s what Deb thinks too.’

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