Page 96 of You Had Me At Thirteen

It feels like old times, having my cousin here. We were always close as kids, and not just in our relationship. We only lived twenty minutes away from each other before my dad packed up our lives and moved us away. We’ve kept in touch over the years, seeing each other at Christmas time when we can. Our mums still talk every day, but my Aunt Ruthie has multiple sclerosis, and she’s wheelchair bound, so she hasn’t been to see us for a while. This year was our year to go to them, but seeing how Mum is sick, there’s a chance she won’t even make Christmas. I can only imagine what it’s like for my aunt to watch her sister’s face grow more pale and gaunt with each video call. Although, I don’t know what’s worse, watching her fade away every day in person, or only witnessing it for minutes at a time.

I let the women talk amongst themselves as I contemplate how I’m going to apologise to Matilda. After Mum told me not to fuck it up, I’ve had a moment to think about how shitty I was to her today. She isn’t some girl who means nothing to me, and I fucked up big time. She’s become my safe place, and even though I don’t show it to her, she means more to me than anything. I need her, especially now.

But the fact that her first thought to seeing me with Carla is that I’m cheating, has me thinking about how much her dad fucked her up. He really did a number on her, and I don’t want to be another man she has to survive.

FORTY-TWO

Matilda

* * *

My phone vibrates on my bedside table and I glance over at it, hoping it’ll shut itself up. I’ve spent the last half an hour reprimanding myself over my feelings for a cheating, scheming, lying bastard.

My entire chest feels like it’s caving in, crushing my lungs and heart.

When my phone doesn’t stop buzzing, I grab it and place it to my ear. ‘What?’ I say, not bothering to look at who is calling me.

‘Who tied your knickers in a knot?’ Audrey says down the phone.

‘Sorry, don’t ask.’

‘Okay…’ Audrey says, drawing out the word. ‘Anyway, want to go to a party tonight? Clive just called to tell me Trevor is having one at his place. He’ll call you in a second, but I wanted to get in first.’

I sigh, rolling onto my stomach and putting my phone on speaker so I don’t have to hold it. ‘Not really. I don’t want to see Wren.’

‘What do you mean? I thought you two were—’

‘Well, we aren’t. Can we talk about something else?’ I stare out my window, hoping to see Wren, hoping more so not to see him.

‘I don’t have to go tonight, babe. I can come over, we’ll eat lots of junk, watch trashy movies and just hang out?’

My best friend is the best, but instead of agreeing, I refuse her offer. ‘Thanks Aud, but I’m fine. I think I’m going to go for a run. Clear my head, you know?’

‘Okay, well if you change your mind…’ There’s a pause before Audrey giggles.

‘What are you doing?’

‘Nothing,’ she says through a fit of laughter.

I roll my eyes. Not that Audrey can see me. ‘Hi Koby,’ I say, knowing full well who is distracting her.

‘Hey, Til,’ Koby says, sounding apologetic.

‘Listen, I’m not in the mood to hear your sexcapades, thank you very much,’ I say.

Audrey snorts. ‘Sorry. Are you sure you don’t want to come tonight?’

‘I’m sure. I’d rather not have Wren parade around his new plaything in front of my face.’

‘What?’ Audrey says, her voice a high-pitched squeal. ‘Wait, the blond from this afternoon?’

‘Yep.’

There’s a loud slapping sound before Koby’s voice. ‘Ouch, what was that for?’

‘Did you know about this?’ Audrey says, her tone now threatening Koby’s life.

‘What are you talking about?’

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