Page 68 of You Had Me At Thirteen

‘Just leave it alone,’ I say as I push past her, making it to the stairs before taking two at a time. Christ, what the fuck am I doing? I shake my head. The only thing I know how to do. Push people away.

Matilda follows me down the stairs, her fast steps echoing on the timber. ‘Wren?’

I ignore her until we reach the bottom. She almost smacks into my back as I motion to the door. ‘You can find your own way out,’ I say without looking at her.

She remains unmoving until she takes a step toward me. ‘Please, Wren. Just let me in.’

I cross my arms over my chest. I want to let her in, too, but every time I think I can let my guard down with her, my automatic defences kick in and I do what I do best. Shut down.

So yeah, I’m the biggest arsehole in the world to her right now, but I don’t want her pity. And that’s all I’ll get if she knows everything.

Fuck that. I don’t need anyone’s pity.

‘You know what, Wren?’ She massages her temples. ‘You keep pulling me in, then pushing me away. But next time, I won’t come back. I’m done with this shit.’ She throws her arms up, then drops them to her sides, her shoulders slumping in response.

When I say nothing, she turns and storms towards the door. She slams it shut behind her, the jarring sound ringing in my ears, forcing me to close my eyes.

Moments ago, I had her in my mouth, in my arms, her warmth melting my insides. Nothing comes close to the taste of her, and I wanted all of it. But every time I think I can take the plunge, I’m pulled back into my reality, where my mum is dying and being with Matilda feels like the most selfish thing I can do. I have to get a grip.

My mum needs me now more than ever, and here I am falling for a woman I know I shouldn’t be involving in my shit.

Running my hands through my hair, I make my way back up the stairs and walk down the hallway for the millionth time this week.

TWENTY-EIGHT

Matilda

* * *

I’m catching up on my crime doco when Audrey comes over the next day. She’s grinning from ear to ear as she throws herself onto her back on my bed with a sigh. I keep my eyes on my laptop, not really wanting to discuss last night just yet. Maybe if I stay quiet, she won’t mention anything about a certainpain in my arse.

My hopes of that are crushed when Audrey pokes me in the ribs. ‘Well, are you going to ask me how my night was?’

My stomach drops. Audrey’s mood tells me everything I need to know. She’s happy, she’s falling in love, all that crap that comes with lusting over a stupid boy.

‘Do I have to?’

‘Yes, you do.’

I blow out my breath. ‘Fine. How was your night?’ I say as I keep my focus on my laptop. I’m watching but nothing is sinking in.

Audrey rolls over onto her stomach, resting her chin in her hands. ‘So good. So, so good.’

I can’t help the laugh that escapes me. ‘So just good, then?’

‘Shut up, you’re horrible.’ She nudges me with her shoulder. ‘We danced nearly all night, then he kissed me. My God, I swear I almost fainted from the lack of oxygen getting to my brain.’

‘Sounds super boring,’ I say with a smirk on my face, my mood picking up. ‘But I’m thrilled for you, babe. Koby seems like a good guy.’ Pity his best friend is a knob.

‘He so is. Anyway, how was your night?’

Shit. Great. Then shit again. This is the part I’ve been trying to avoid. ‘Don’t ask.’

‘That bad, huh?’

‘Yep.’

‘Want to talk about it?’ she says while rubbing my back.

---