Page 24 of Corruption

“Aren’t you smart, Pretty Girl?”

“Why do you call me that?”

“Because you’re pretty. More than pretty. But stunningly gorgeous girl is a mouthful.”

It’s clearly flattery. But it’s also clearly very sincere. She really does think that, and hearing someone think so highly of me, even if it’s just in the way I look, causes me to flush in embarrassment. Causes my heart to do something weird that it’s never done before.

Before I can get my bearings straight and make her answer my question, the dresser returns to the room with racks and racks of clothing that she thinks I might like to try on. I go behind the room divider every time even though the dresser only looks at me clinically to do her job and Nadia practically saw me naked the night before. It takes hours, though it doesn’t feel like it. When I feel like I have enough to last me for at least the next three months, Nadia arranges the payment and shipment for the things I won’t be taking today.

In the meantime, I continue to browse through the racks of clothing. I’m not particularly looking for anything as I’m just browsing idly, but find myself stopping upon seeing a red dress that matches the color of Nadia’s hair. It’s long with splits all the way up the sides, a halter top with a diamond cutout on the front, and no back.

“Do you like it?”

I snap out my stupor and take my hand off the dress at Nadia’s voice.

“No. I just—”

“You should try it on.”

“No. I—”

“Go ahead.”

One thing I’ve learned in the less than twenty-four hours since knowing her is that Nadia is hard to argue with. Not because she’s particularly mean or demanding or even manipulative. But there’s something about her song-like, angelic voice that not just compels me to do what she says, but makes me want to.

So I take the dress off the rack, try it on, and come from behind the divider to let Nadia and the dresser see.

“It’s like it was made for you,” Nadia breathes as she gazes at me.

My heart does that weird thing again, and I feel my body heat up. This time, I know the heat isn’t embarrassment. It’s something else as Nadia gazes at me with those green eyes of hers, not even bothering to try to hide it.

“You think so?”

“Come look in the mirror.”

I walk across the floor and stand in front of the mirror. It’s a perfect fit. Molding to my hips and waist just right. Showing off all the skin it’s designed to on my stomach, my legs, and I’m guessing my back even though I can’t see it.

Mama would have a fit if she saw me in this.

“Good thing she’s not here,” Nadia says, coming up behind me and making me realize I said my thought out loud. “I’m sorry. She died right? That’s insensitive of me.”

I can’t think with Nadia’s body practically pressed against me. Her breath near my ear. Her hands following the curves of my hips and waist and breasts. She’s just trying to make sure it all fits just right. Even though she already said it was perfect. Even though the dresser is right there, and it’s her job to do all that.

I’ve never given much thought to my sexuality. I’d never had the chance to explore it to find out whether or not I had a preference. My mother always assumed it would be men, always making comments about keeping my body looking a certain way for my imaginary future husband and sometimes making me skip meals in service of that. But other than that, I never dwelled on whether I liked sexually men or women or just people at all. If anything, I’ve always been pretty ambivalent about the whole thing, always more focused on planning how I was going to escape my mother when I was eighteen. How I was going to outmaneuver her so she would never find me again.

Now, in this moment, there’s nothing for me to worry about. And if there is, I can’t focus on it as I lean back into Nadia and feel anything but ambivalent. As I feel her softness. Feel her warmth radiate into me. Wonder what it would be like if I were naked and she were naked just like the women in the lesbian and threesome and then some porn she showed me. What it would be like if she reached between my thighs and—

I suck in a sharp gasp.

What am I thinking?

I’m engaged.

Nadia is a married woman.

Nadia showed me that to assure me that Alik wasn’t hurting her, primarily. For fun and to tease me secondarily.

Not to fantasize about her—

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