Page 34 of Vicarious

Moreover, I’m not particularly upset about the fact that Phae won’t be there. The intention of this trip was always to spend time with the twins and Dele using Cres as a cover. My attention is already going to be divided. Having her there just would have divided it more.

Eileen arrives two weeks before the trip and a week after Dele has gone back to the city not just to get the twins ready, but also because she actually has a life there no matter what pretenses it was built upon.

Eileen has a much more emotional and much less frosty and reserved reunion with Phae than Dele did. But Eileen has also had an entire day to get over her shock that Phae is alive whereas the revelation that Phae was alive and the reunion happened at the same time for Dele. Well, that and the fact that Eileen isn’t fucking me.

They immediately head to where Eileen will be staying to catch up, and though I’m apprehensive about the two being alone, I allow it. Best to figure out where the hell Eileen is going to stand in all this early on and act accordingly if needed.

Eileen comes to find me in my office hours later with her hands clasped behind her back and expression as reserved as ever, and I brace myself for what she’s going to say.

“What’s your plan with her?”

I’m taken back to the day I brought Dele back and Eileen asked me the same thing, revealing that she had ulterior motives for accepting an offer of my employment after Phae died. I start to go through the catalog of everything I know about Eileen to determine what that ulterior motive might be now, what cards she might be keeping close to her chest. Unfortunately, there’s not much. And that’s a failing on my part because I know too little about Eileen’s personal background. Mostly because she used her CIA connections to scrub just about anything to do with her personal life and connections from even federal level databases. It’s something that makes her dangerous. But since she’s never given me a reason to suspect her of any betrayal, it’s a failing I allow for now and hope never comes back to bite me.

“I don’t know,” I admit.

“I thought as much.”

“Do you have any suggestions?”

“No. But I do have some hard truths that you’re probably avoiding and don’t want to hear.”

And that she’s going to tell me regardless is the part that goes unsaid because it doesn’t need to be said.

“This life you’ve chosen. This life you’re after. Your ambitions. It’s incongruent with the life Phae wants and her personal ambitions. You don’t get to keep her and keep on the same path you’ve been on the past few years. You’re going to have to choose. This life or her.” Then she adds, “The ironic part about all this is that her death is also the reason you’ve persisted with your ambitions, and for most people, her apparent survival would make those ambitions moot.”

“But you’re not most people, are you?”

Eileen makes a noncommittal shrug.

“I’m just laying things out as I see them. You either tear Pray down and everything he’s worked hard to build while abandoning this vengeance plot of yours to keep her. Or you keep going.”

“Keep going and what…”

“That’s going to require me to spend more time with Phae to figure that out.”

She hasn’t brought up Dele, and that’s surprising since she always seems to have an opinion about me and Dele when it comes to significant things like this.

“You’re not going to say anything about Dele?”

Eileen raises an eyebrow and says, “I don’t think there’s anything I need to add about Dele.”

“You know I hate when people start talking to me in cryptic circles,” I chide. “Speak straight and freely to me.”

“I just did.” Before I can argue that, Eileen says, “I’ll keep an eye on Phae while you’re on your trip.”

I could push the point with Eileen. But also, I have to be careful with her. So I decide to let her crypticness go and dismiss her.

If there’s anything duplicitous about Eileen, and given her background, there probably is, there’s nothing to be done about it yet. For right now, if she does have an ulterior motive, she’s not going to do anything about it. Shecan’tuntil after we execute our plan to get onto Pray’s estate.

16

Dele

“Remember,” I say to the twins when we’re in the private luxury, black SUV that Viper sent to pick us up from the airport.

Leon and Lady roll their eyes.

“He’s not Dad. He’s Mr. Blake,” Lady says, not taking her eyes off the book she’s reading on her tablet.

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