Page 4 of Almost Us

Before they leave, I hug them both. “Thank you for all the help.”

“Whatever evidence they have must be bullshit,” Smith assures me. “We know how close those boys were. I’m sorry this is happening, but Alden would be proud of you for sticking by his brother.”

Milo nods his agreement.

Somehow, I doubt they’d feel that way if they knew I fucked him last night.

Once they’re gone, Tori and I finish cleaning up Oliver’s apartment. It’s so hard not to think of him sitting in a cell. Detective Ramos said he’d be housed in the medical wing, but I have no idea what that might look like.

It’s late in the evening when we go back to my house. The sight of Oliver’s packed bags sitting in the foyer hits me hard. So much has happened over the last twenty-four hours.

The bags don’t escape Tori’s notice. “Were you going somewhere?” she asks.

“Oliver was packing to move back to his apartment. Before the cops showed up.”

“Unfortunate timing.”

Guilt pours into me. All I’ve done is add to the turmoil and make things worse for him. The knot in my throat won’t disappear no matter how many times I swallow.

“Hey.” Tori says, after hanging up her coat. “He’s going to be okay. This shit will get straightened out. We know it has to be a mistake. Then he can sue that fucking department until he owns their asses.”

“It’s not that.” I turn to face away from her. This weight I’m carrying is too much. It’s one thing too much. “I’ve done something terrible.”

Tori follows me into the living room. “Okay. Let’s talk about it.”

“I don’t know if I can. You won’t look at me the same. I sure as fuck don’t.”

Tori clamps her hands on my shoulders, halting my erratic pacing of the floor. “Ella. There’s nothing you can’t say to me. I might tell you that you’re an idiot or you’re wrong, but I’ll still have your back and help you solve the problem.”

My mouth opens and closes like a fish. It’s so hard to get the words out.

Tori crosses her arms. “Do we need to bury a body? Burn some evidence? Run to Mexico? Tell me now because I’ll need to take care of it while Paul’s at work.”

Everyone should have a friend like Tori.

“I had sex with Oliver last night.”

The contempt I expect to see never appears on her face. She doesn’t recoil in horror or ask me what the hell is the matter with me. She doesn’t even seem surprised. Instead, she sighs. “Ella.” There’s no judgment or disappointment in her voice. “We need wine for this.”

Despite the tears in my eyes, a snort of laughter leaps out of me. “Yeah. In the kitchen.”

Once we both have a glass in hand, we sit on the couch. Tori tucks her feet beneath her and faces me. “I thought this might happen. I almost brought it up with you a few times.” She smiles at my startled silence. “Don’t look so surprised. You two have been in each other’s pockets since he woke up. You’ve taken care of him for months. You’re lonely. Things happen.”

“Alden would hate me.” I drain my wine glass and refill it. It’s too bad I can’t get drunk tonight. Showing up in court hungover isn’t a good look. “Oliver said he wouldn’t want me to be unhappy or feel guilty, but he doesn’t know that.”

Tori chews her lip, considering her next words. “This is going to sound harsh, but it’s the truth. It doesn’t matter what Alden would think or want. He isn’t coming back to complain. Nothing you do now is going to affect him, Ella.” She reaches over to squeeze my hand. “You can’t hurt him where he is, do you understand?”

Logically, I do, but my heart isn’t having it. “I know. But it’s hisbrother.”

“I’m not saying it’s a good idea to do it again. It’s a terrible idea. Not because of what Alden would think or what others might have to say about it, but because of that look on your face right now. It matters what you think, how you feel. How do you feel?”

There are a throng of feelings inside me right now, but one elbows its way through the crowd to the forefront. “Guilty.”

Tori tilts her head, looking at me with sympathy as I continue. “Not just for sleeping with him. It wasn’t a moment of weakness or alcohol or anything like that. There’s something between us that wasn’t there before. At least for me. I notice him in ways I never did. He says he has feelings for me too, but I think it’s because I’ve taken care of him. I’m taking advantage of him when he’s too mixed up to know what he feels.”

Tori sips her wine and regards me. “It’s odd for me sometimes, looking at him when he’s so much like Alden. I can only imagine how hard that’s been for you. Do you think you love Oliver? Or are you desperately trying to hang onto the only piece of Alden that’s left?” Tori’s tone is kind, but nothing could soften those words.

“Oliver said something similar, that I only want him because he’s almost Alden.”

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