Page 48 of Crushed

She was exactly where she claimed she didn’t want to be, in my bed. She was here, she was naked, and she was curled into me the same way she’d been the last two mornings. Only now, neither of us had any clothes on.

“That was unexpected,” Sawyer said, lifting her cheek from my chest to bring her eyes to mine.

“Which part?” I asked.

She let out a soft laugh. “All of it, actually. But I was mostly referring to the part that started it. The kiss.”

Brushing her hair back from her face, it was my turn to laugh. “Yeah. I’ve been wanting to do that since I walked out of Harper Security and saw you standing beside your car in the parking lot.”

Surprise washed over her. “Really?”

I nodded, the back of my head moving against the pillow. “My verbal reaction to seeing you might not have lined up with all that I was feeling inside.”

Her eyes roamed over my face for a few seconds, and I could see that she was wrestling with something. I used that time to allow my fingertips to draw random patterns on her skin. Whether that gave her the reassurance she needed or not, I didn’t know, but the next thing I knew, she shared, “I’ve wanted you to kiss me for a lot longer than that.”

My brows shot up. “Oh yeah? When did you decide you wanted it to happen?”

Sawyer swallowed hard. “Since you picked up a chicken tender, dipped it in hot sauce, and fed it to me.”

That was surprising, because it was the first time I’d met her.

Truth be told, I’d wanted to kiss Sawyer all those years ago as well. “I still haven’t forgotten putting that tender in your mouth and feeling the tip of your tongue touch my finger.”

“I licked you?” she asked, seemingly horrified.

At that question, I burst out laughing. Holding on tight to her, my body shook with my laughter. Once I settled down, I replied, “I wouldn’t exactly say you licked me.”

Heat hit her cheeks. “You know, I might regret telling you this, but by the time of Faye’s pool party when you and I were on the same team for chicken fight, I wanted to do more than just kiss you.”

I closed my eyes and sighed as my fingertips pressed in. The memory of that day came back to me, and I could remember every detail of it. “That day was something else,” I told her. “I purposely picked you, not just because I knew we’d be a winning team, but because I really liked the way you looked in your swimsuit.”

This news seemed to catch her by surprise. “I’ll never forget the way it felt to have your hands on my thighs.”

“And I’ll never forget having your thighs on either side of my head,” I fired back, my lips twitching at the innuendo and where I wanted to guide this conversation.

Just as I was about to roll her to her back so I could create that memory with a slightly different twist, Sawyer spoke.

“I’m going to let that one slide, mostly because it was your letters that proved to me just what kind of guy you were,” she said.

At that, my body tensed.

I couldn’t say that I’d forgotten about the letters Sawyer and I had written back and forth to one another when I was just a recruit, but I hadn’t thought about them in a very long time.

There was no denying the attraction I’d had to her over the time that she and I had just been discussing. Getting to know her more changed everything for me. Maybe I was a fool, but it was time I told her the truth.

“That’s when it happened,” I confessed.

Sawyer’s body went solid. “What?” she whispered.

Following a brief pause, I explained, “Getting those letters from you was the highlight of my day when I was in training. The things I was going through while I was there had felt so difficult at that time, and it was receiving and reading your letters that gave me the extra push I needed when I felt down. I’d remember talking to you about your dad, and I knew that he’d been a member. Knowing how proud you were of him, I wanted you to feel the same about me. So, it pushed me to see that I was doing something good and meaningful. I loved everything about those letters. What they gave me while I was there, of course, but also all those pieces of you that I got, too.”

Tears had filled her eyes, and she allowed her face to fall forward. A moment later, I felt a tear land on my chest. Then, I heard her sniffle.

I wanted to think that what I’d just shared with her was a good thing, but I was quickly realizing that perhaps it might not have been the best decision. Maybe it was far too much entirely too soon.

I was about to apologize to her when she lifted her head and rasped, “You let me leave. You said those horrible things to me, and you let me leave just days out of high school.”

This was the second time she’d indicated that I’d said something to her that wasn’t okay, but I had not a clue what she was talking about. “Sawyer, I don’t understand what you’re saying. The day you showed up at Harper Security, you said that it was clear I still hated you. I don’t know where that’s coming from.”

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