But seeing that young girl running away in distress, I put my caveman on the back burner and followed her in, shutting the door for some privacy.
“Hey are you OK?” I ask gently as I sit next to her on the couch in the marble clad restroom.
“Yes, thank you,” she says between sobs. “You wouldn’t happen to have a tissue?”
I pass her one from a pack on the counter, but as she continues crying, I give her the whole box.
“You want to talk about it? I can go punch whoever upset you if you wish. Maybe a Manolo to their shin? What do you think?”
“Oh no, that won’t be necessary.” She stops sniveling a bit. “You are very pretty,” she adds, taking in my outfit and way too-expensive haircut. A pair of bright green eyes stare at me behind a lovely, freckled face. She has curly brown hair resembling a halo around her head, and her brown skin contrasts beautifully with her green smock.
“Thank you very much. You are very beautiful as well.”
“Uh, I do not know about that,” she retreats behind a tissue, looking defeated, making me angry.
“Damn right you are pretty! Let’s not even mention this dress! It’s great on you. If you weren’t a teenager, I would say it looks hot on you!”
She smiles at me now, but then asks me a question which makes me go from 1 to 100 on the furious scale.
“It’s just… I know I probably shouldn’t ask you this, but... do you think I am fat?”
Staring at her trying to answer her unexpected question without exploding, I can see a healthy-looking girl about 13 or 14 years old. She is absolutely at normal weight for her age, in my view.
“Fat? What do you mean? Is that why you were crying? Look at me—what is your name?”
“Tabitha, but people sometimes call me Tae.”
“Tae—I am DJ—and you are most definitely not fat. Whoever makes you feel you need to be thinner is about to get my heel shoved deeply up their ass.”
At that she giggles, and I realize my swearing is probably not appropriate for children, but in this case, I think it is more than needed.
“It’s just that…” she continues softly, “all my friends are skinnier than me. Also, I have started getting these stretch marks on my hips. I am ugly.”
“Pfft stretch marks! Ha, I have those too—look!” I take advantage of my cropped dress to show her some of the skin around my sides, which she surveys clinically. “I even get a chin hair or two sometimes! Don’t get me started on the occasional zit that flares up before my period!”
“You do? But you are so lovely,” she says, slightly blushing.
“Thank you, Tae, but you need a better mirror. With those eyes and irresistible curls on you, I suspect the boys—or girls—will be falling over themselves for you in a couple of years.”
“You think?” her voice grows in confidence a bit.
“I am positive. People don’t mind normal skin. I know for a fact that the hottest man I’ve ever seen is into me, and some stretch marks and a bit of orange peel skin didn’t stop him from kissing me silly.” And other things I probably do not want to get into with a young lady in a bathroom.
Tabitha giggles again and, as simple as that, the mood lifts.
“That is what my brother says all the time. That I am beautiful, and the mean girls at school can go… fork... themselves. He tries not to swear around me. He is just a bit of a big dork, honestly—he reads books about elves and all.” Then she switches directions to me. “You really have a hot boyfriend?”
“Umm, he isn’t actually my boyfriend as… you know—gotta keep them guessing,” I fib a bit for dramatic effect. “But your brother seems like a smart guy—you should listen to him. And seriously, why were you crying today? Are your friends here trying to make you feel bad?”
“Oh, I had a second piece of cake,” her voice goes quiet again.
“OK… what is wrong with that?” I ask, quite confused. “I had three, and they were delicious.”
“Umm, my mom said I need to pace myself if I still want to fit in this dress by the end of the day.”
A loud thud shakes the chandelier in the restroom as the door hits the wall and a raging Jon roars, “SHE SAID WHAT?”
Before I get up to throw him out for scaring the girl to death with his yelling, Tabitha runs into his arms and starts crying again.