Page 46 of Under His Touch

“Perfectly fine,” I say, and lift my chin an inch, to prove I have it all together.

“Megan,” she begins. “If you love him you need to tell him.”

“I don’t love him.” I sigh and lean back in my chair. “Even if I did, I couldn’t just tell him. It’s a little more complicated than that,” I say.

“What I don’t understand is all the sex you two were having. He must have deeper feelings.”

I think about that for a minute, remember the feel of his lips on mine, the way he took such good care of my body. Would a man not feeling something deeper be so gentle, so tender, so eager to mark every inch of me?

“It’s just sex, Amanda. Two people having fun while they’re passing the time. Even if I did love him, we have different goals in life,” I say to remind myself. “And I’d never tell a guy I loved him when he’s made it perfectly clear he doesn’t believe in love or happily-ever-after. After so much loss, having my own family isn’t just something I want, it’s something my heart needs.”

She frowns. “Okay, I’m here if you need to talk.”

Just then my phone rings, and I’m grateful for the distraction, until I see who’s calling. “Thanks, Amanda,” I say, and slide my finger across the phone. “Sara, hi.”

“We finally set a date,” she says. “And it’s soon.”

I grab my pen, and note the way my stupid hand is shaking. “Okay, give me the details.”

“It’s going to be a very formal wedding at the country club in two weeks. It’s the perfect spot.”

Funny, Sara and I have different opinions on the perfect spot. I want my wedding to be casual, my groom dressed comfortably, and I’d prefer it to be at a beach or a lake, not some snobbish country club. But it’s not my wedding, so I have no say.

“Two weeks,” I say, not at all surprised they’re moving quickly.

“No sense in wasting time.”

I begin to tell her all the things that need to be done ASAP, like the menu, cake, dress, invites, photographer, flowers, etc., but Sara goes silent on the other end.

“What’s the problem?” I ask.

“The problem is that I have to be away for work.” Her voice sounds distant, like she’s driving through a tunnel. “Will you be able to just plan these things without me? Oh, as far as bridal party goes, I’m going to ask my best friend to be my maid of honor, and that’s it. No bridesmaids. I would have asked you but with you planning everything, there would be way too many complications.”

“I totally understand,” I say. No way could I stand for her while she marries the man I’m in love with. “So you asked Jessica?”

“Yes, and Alec is having Will as best man. All of New York’s most important people will be there. This can only do good things for my career,” she says, a hint of excitement in her voice.

I still can’t quite believe the two are marrying for their careers. Doesn’t anyone believe in love anymore? I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Are you telling me you don’t care about the menu, or, or—?”

“Not really. This is your area of expertise, you know what to do better than I do.”

“What about the guest list?”

“I’ll email you mine, and you can work with Alec for his and all the other things you mentioned. The two of you can pull it together, I’m sure of it.”

Work with Alec?

That’s the last thing I want to do.

With a headache brewing, I shake my head no, even though she can’t see me. “Sara, I don’t know—”

“I’m going to be away for the next week. Maybe more. I have a convention in Atlanta. The firm is sending me, and I have no choice.”

“What about your dress?”

“Ah, can you just pick something for me? We’re the same size.”

My head begins to spin and I take a deep breath. “I can’t pick out your wedding dress for you.”

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