Page 21 of Under Pressure

Fuck no. What is going on?

I reach for her, but she steps back. “Reese—”

“Also, when this trip is over, you need to go back to Colorado. You don’t need to stay in New York any longer.”

I stand there staring at her, feeling like she just punched through my chest and tore out my heart. “Reese,” I say and reach for her. “I just…I…”

She takes another step back, putting more distance between us, physically and emotionally. “I know. I know. You just want to take care of me. But you can stop.”

Love you.

That’s what I was going to say, that I fucking love her.

My fucking God, I love her. I always have.

“You want me to go?” I ask instead, a pounding beginning at the base of my neck and racing through my skull.

“Yes, and I really don’t want to talk about this anymore.” She pulls from me and walks away.

I fist my hair as she retreats. What the fuck is going on? One minute we’re laughing and having fun, the next she’s telling me to go back to Colorado because it’s where I belong. She’s so wrong, on so many fucking levels. Where I belong is in New York with her. Yeah, I might be an adrenaline junkie, but a life with Reese is the adventure I want. She makes me a better man, better than any of the men in my family, and I’d spend a lifetime treasuring her. Yet now she doesn’t even want me in the same state as her anymore.

Not only am I going to lose the woman I love, but I’m also going to lose my very best friend, all because I couldn’t keep my hands to myself.

Stupid. Fucking. Asshole.

Chapter Seven

Reese

With my stomach twisted into knots, I pace my room, hating how mean I was to Cole today. But God, I had to be. No way do I want him to give up his life because he thinks he has to take care of me, little old Reesey Piecey, who can’t function without him. I’d never try to change him, never want him to come to resent me for it like Jared did. And obviously, I was trying to change Jared to be more like Cole because I love him. I’ve always loved him. The truth is I can function without him. I just don’t want to.

I wipe away a runaway tear and place my hand on my stomach as nausea grips me. I love Cole so freaking much, and even though he might never talk to me again, and the loss of our friendship will shatter me completely, I had to push him away for his own good. He came back because I needed him, not because he wanted me.

You’re just friends, Reese.

Friends who have really great sex, but friends nonetheless. And it’s time he went back to his life. When it comes right down to it, Cole hates working in construction with his uncle. He’s built for adventure, like hiking the Colorado Mountains, white water rafting in the rivers…back-bending orgasms.

He was only having sex with me because my trip was supposed to be about finding a guy and sleeping with him. Yeah, sure, he seemed to enjoy it, too, but he’s always there to protect me, help me out, and gi

ve me what I need. That’s what the sex was all about, considering he only ever treated me as a buddy, one of the guys, before this trip.

I hear a distant rumble and walk to my window to peek out the curtains. Rain pelts the glass, and a quiver moves through me. God, I hate storms. Not just because they’re loud and frightening, but also because when I was a kid, lightning struck my grandmother’s house and she fell down the stairs during the blackout while trying to get to me. Finding her lifeless body that night still haunts me. Another roar of thunder backs me away from the window, and old, painful memories resurface.

Lightning brightens the sky, and I hurry to the bed and slide under the covers. I’m sitting there, counting the seconds between the light and thunder, when someone knocks on my door. I hug myself, hoping it’s Cole as much as I hope it’s not. I need to make a clean break from him, for both our sakes.

“Who is it?”

“It’s me.”

Cole.

“What’s up?” I ask, trying for casual, like I’m perfectly fine.

A moment of silence and then, “Open the door, Reese.”

Yeah, okay, so trying to pretend anything with Cole is a waste of time. He can always see right through me. It does make me wonder, though. Will he see through what I’m doing, the reason I’m pushing him away? What would he do if he knew how I really felt? Hop on the next bus and run for cover?

I sit there for a moment, toying with the blankets, but when the night sky lights up again, I jump from the bed and dash across the room. I pull the door open, and when I see the tender, caring way Cole is looking at me as he pulls me into his arms, my heart nearly breaks into a million tiny pieces. He guides me to my bed and doesn’t bother to ask if I’m okay. He knows I’m not. He pulls the blankets down.

---