Page 71 of The Hard Hitter

“Never have I ever been such an asshole,” he says.

I put my glass down, in no mood for games. “Zander—”

“Never have I ever made such a colossal mistake in my entire life,” he continues.

His words pound against my ears, and I go still a moment, to mull over what he’s saying to me. Silence takes up space between us as we stare at each other, and I finally break the quiet with, “I have to agree.”

“Sam, this is all my fault,” he says, his eyes so full of pain it softens something inside me. “I take full responsibility for everything. Everything—including the pregnancy.”

“Pregnancy takes two people, Zander. You’re not fully responsible.”

He sets his glass down and takes my hands in his. “I ruined everything. Not you. I should have been better than the men you’ve had in your life. You deserve so much more from me.” He glances at my belly. “So does our little one.”

Oh my God, what is happening?

“The things I said to you…there was no excuse. You see, Sam, I wanted you in my life. I wanted for us to be together, and I wanted to have a family with you.”

“Wanted?”

He cups my face, lightly brushes his thumb over my cheek as my pulse pounds against my ears. “I still want. I want all those things, with you.”

“I…I want those things with you, too. I never…meant to get pregnant.”

“I know that. I’m a dick for the things I said to you. I sabotaged us. Because I was scared. Because I—”

“I understand,” I say, cutting him off as my heart swells, presses against my rib cage. “You had plenty of reasons to be afraid.”

“But don’t you see, I shouldn’t have been afraid with you.” He dips his head, his mouth close to mine. “Not with you, Sam. Never with you. You are the kindest, most honest woman I know. I swear to you, if you’ll forgive me, I’ll never be afraid again.”

My pulse beats against my throat as my mind recalls all the cruel things he said, the things he accused me of. “You really hurt me.”

“And I plan to spend the rest of my life making up for that. I want us to be together. I want this baby for us, for Daisy.”

My gaze moves over his face, searches for signs of uncertainty. But I find none. “Are you really sure that’s what you want? I don’t want you to resent me down the road, or think I ever tried to trap you.”

He picks up our glasses and hands one to me. “Never have I ever trusted anyone, or wanted to be with anyone, more than I want to be with you,” he says. He holds his glass out and doesn’t drink, because he’s telling the truth.

I lift mine, bring it to my lips—and his mouth drops, deep worry taking up residency in his eyes. He knows if I drink, it means I’ve trusted someone more than I trust him. Wanted to be with someone more than I want to be with him.

I press the goblet to my lips, and his entire body tightens. He lids drop, and he clenches down on his back teeth with an audible click.

I let him suffer for a split second…then lower my glass.

His lids lift, his blue eyes full of hope and love as they move over my face. “Sam?”

“Never have I ever wanted to be with anyone more than I want to be with you.” I say, and he lets loose a breath. “But I couldn’t make it too easy on you, Zander. You did hurt me.”

“Never make it easy on me, Sam.” He exhales loudly once more, and holds his glass up again. “Never have I ever loved anyone the way I love you.”

I don’t take a drink, and he takes my glass from my shaky hand. He sets both goblets on the counter and pulls me in to his arms and kisses me deeply.

I hug him to me, absorb his warmth and comfort.

“I am so sorry, Sam. I want to take care of you, and love you the way you deserve to be loved. I want to help you around here, support you in your practice. I want you to move in with me, and if the commute becomes too much, we’ll find you another location, or turn a part of my—or rather, our—place into a practice. Anything you want. But those are thoughts for another time. Right now, I’m asking for your forgiveness, even though I’m not sure I deserve it.”

My heart soars as he lays his on the line. I can’t stay mad at him. I love him with all my heart and then some. “I accept your apology.”

“Hmmm,” he says, his eyes narrowing like he’s deep in thought.

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