“Damn right you are,” Jonah says, and looks around his mansion. “We can convert half this place into a center for you. I’ve been thinking about that for a while now, anyway.”
I sit there, flabbergasted, as the two guys I love with all my heart start discussing the details of my new daycare center. I hold my hands up to stop them.
“Hello. I’m right here. Don’t you think I should have a say in this?”
Jonah reaches for my hand. “When you decided to help me—or rather, Daisy—I told you I’d make it worth your while. Let me do this for you,” he says.
I take a long moment to think about it. Think about what is best for everyone. I want to help raise Daisy, and help my brother, give him security when he’s away, so I swallow my pride and say, “How about this. I found this really great space in the city, I just need first and last months’ rent. If you can loan it to me, then—”
“It’s not a loan if I’m your husband, Quinn. You don’t have to pay it back.”
As soon as the words leave his mouth, my heart falls into my stomach. Now that the baby isn’t his, there’s no need for us to keep pretending.
Zander must sense my unease. He stands and says, “I’m going to go talk to your father, Jonah. If I really am Daisy’s father, I need to get a plan in place.”
“Zander,” I say, and stand up, taking his hand in mine. “You okay?”
He thinks about it for a moment. “I love that little girl as much as you guys do. I eventually wanted kids, it just happened sooner rather than later. And I know I’m not alone in this. I have a great support system. Speaking of that, will you guys help me get my place set up for her, get a nanny right way?”
“Of course,” I say, having never loved my brother more.
“How about I have all her things brought to your place? Maybe Quinn and I can stay the week with her, until she gets used to it.”
“What about Shari?” Zander asks.
“We’ll deal with her in the courts. If she really wanted Daisy, she would have taken her today.”
I give Zander a hug and, after he leaves, I turn to Jonah. He’s running his hand through his hair. What Shari did was so not fair to this man but now—now that Daisy isn’t his—where does that leave us?
Oh, how I wanted this marriage to be real, to be a mother to that child. But deep down, Jonah’s first love is hockey, a free lifestyle, and I can’t compete with that. He stepped up because it was the right thing to do, not because he was ready to be a father or a husband.
I tug the ring off my finger and hold it out to him. His gaze narrows in on it. “I guess you should get your dad to draw up the divorce papers.” I laugh, but it comes out shaky. “I think that might have been the shortest marriage in history.”
He stares at me for a long time. “Is that what you want?”
Tell him, Quinn. Tell him what you really want.
But what if I do tell him I want to stay married? Would he even agree? We were playing house, right? Having fun. But what if he did agree? Would he end up resenting me, because he’s not really ready for a family? In the end, resentment leads to abandonment, right?
“Yes,” I finally say, not just for my sake, but for his too.
17
Jonah
It’s been three long weeks since we’ve been training, and I can’t eat, sleep, or even play hockey. I glance at my team as we all take shots on the net, but my thoughts aren’t on today’s practice. No, my thoughts are on Daisy…Quinn.
Shari never bothered to show up at my house to collect Daisy, and Dad says Zander has a good chance at full custody. Quinn hired the best nanny, and is staying at Zander’s house to make the transition easier for everyone. She’s also working hard to get her own center ready, so Daisy can be with family every day. My buddy Zander certainly stepped up to the plate, and I know he’s going to be an amazing father to the little girl we all love.
But goddammit, if I can’t be Daisy’s father, I at least want to be her uncle for real. There is only one way for that to happen, but Quinn handed me the ring back, saying it was what she wanted. The fucking divorce papers are in my bag, but I’ve yet to sign them. I don’t want to sign them.
I’m in love with my best friend’s kid sister.
Using my own body-checking moves against me, someone hits me from behind, and I slam into the boards with a thud. I turn around, ready to fight whoever did that, but when I find Zander standing there, shaking his head at me, I take off my helmet.
“What the fuck, dude?”
“Are you going to play the game or mope all fucking day?” he asks as he jabs me with his stick. Hard.