Page 76 of The Playmaker

Don’t let anyone in, don’t get hurt. Isn’t that the motto I’ve been living by?

“I just got here, boy.”

I glance at my father. “You need to leave, too.” I slowly turn my head back to Nina, and my voice is deceptively calm when I say, “But I wasn’t talking to him.”

Nina goes stiff and backs up until she hits the counter. “Cole. I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” I say. “Do you have any idea what you’re sorry for?”

“I…” She glances at my asshole father. “We’d better go.”

Dad stands, stretches his legs out like he has all the time in the world, and shoots me a glance. “You’d be nothing without me, boy. You should be thanking me.”

I suck in a breath and hold it. I want to hit something, but I keep my shit together. I’ve been down this road with him too many times, and I am in no shape to rehash the same fight over and over. I need to reserve my strength for the rink.

“I need to get my stuff,” Nina says, her voice as shaky as her body. She casts a quick glance at my father. “I’ll meet you at the car.”

Dad saunters down the hall. “Nice place you got here, boy,” he says before leaving my house.

Nina pulls the lasagna and garlic bread from the oven. “This is ready. Just give it a few minutes to cool and settle before you eat it. I don’t want you to burn yourself.”

Jesus Christ, I just punched the air from her gut and she’s worried about me burning myself. Could I be any more of an asshole?

When she turns to find me standing there, my body practically vibrating, she gasps. “Cole, I don’t know what I did.”

“You had no right to bring that man into my house. This is my house, Nina. My escape. I don’t let just anyone in here.”

“But…your father?”

“My father? Do you want to know what kind of father he was?” With anger urging me on, I tug off my shirt, let her look over my scars. “Where do you think these came from?”

“Hockey,” she says hesitantly.

A choking noise garbles in my throat. “No, these are from the skipping rope he made me train with for hours a day. I was a fucking kid, Nina. He beat the shit out of me on a daily basis. Mom left, apparently I wasn’t enough to keep her around, and I had no one to protect me. But I fucking protected Tabby from the abuse. I took it all so none of his anger was left for her.”

“Cole…” she croaks out, tears in her eyes.

I need to stop, I need to walk away right now, but far too many years’ worth of pent-up anger claws at me, drags me under until like a tsunami. As I fight to breathe, to find safety within myself, I say, “Sometimes he’d wake me up in the middle of the night and beat me. Just for the fucking hell of it.”

“I…didn’t know. I thought he was there for you. He even got you that helicopter when your mom left. I just—”

I laugh at that. A deep, horror-filled belly laugh that scares Nina, judging by the way she’s hugging herself. “I had one fucking toy. My mom gave it to me before she left, and he smashed the fuck out of it with his fists, shattering all my dreams with every pound. All my focus had to be on hockey.”

“Cason said he was at all your games. I thought he was supportive.”

“Oh yeah, he was. He watched everything, and if I made a mistake, I paid for it later. I hated going home, Nina. Hated what was there for me.”

“Is that why you spent so much time at our house?” I drag my hand through my hair, and she continues with, “And at the skate park.”

My head jerks back. “How do you know about the skate park?”

“I used to watch you practice.” Her small shoulders curl in as she hugs herself tighter. “You didn’t know I was there. I always admired your dedication.”

“Yeah, I was dedicated, but I spent hours away because I knew what waited for me when I got home.”

She glances at the stack of bills on the table. “All this, and you still pay his bills.”

I give a humorless laugh. “Yeah, I’m that fucked up, Nina.” I shake my head. “You know who else is fucked up?”

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