Page 55 of The Playmaker

“When I’m better, I’m tying the fuck out of you and having my way with you, all goddamn night,” I warn.

She goes still against me, too still, and I nudge her. What the fuck did I say?

“Nina?”

“Yeah.”

“Untie me.” She reaches up and releases the bindings, then slides into bed beside me. “You okay?” I ask.

“Just sleepy,” she says, but I get that it’s more than that.

I just told her I wanted to continue this after I recuperated. But the fact of the matter is, when she gets the information she needs, and I’m better, she’s out of here. We’ve already established that.

With a knot tightening my gut, I reach for her. “Come here. Let’s get some rest.”

I hold her in my arms, her breath warm on my chest as she drifts off. I close my eyes, exhausted, but they fly open when she suddenly sits up, equal amounts of horror and shock on her face.

I nod as I look at her, because I figured sooner or later—and from the look on her face, I can see it’s sooner—she’d come to her senses and realize I’m not the kind of guy she should be playing games with. I am so beneath her standards.

“Cole,” she gasps

“Yeah,” I say, and make a move to get up

She grips my arm to stop me. “Where are you going?”

“Uhh…” In the dim light, I take in the unease on her face. “I thought you wanted me to leave.”

Her face is scrunched up, perplexed. “Why would I want you to leave?”

“I don’t know.” Cripes, what am I supposed to say? You’re a nice girl, and smart enough to eventually catch on to that I’m not good enough? “What’s wrong, then?”

“We didn’t use a condom.” Her eyes go wide.

That shocked realization sends cold shivers through me. “Dammit, Nina. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I’ve never in my life forgotten a condom. I was so caught up in the moment—”

“Me too.”

I push my hair back and ask, “Are you…on the pill?”

She gives a slow shake of her head, and I scrub my face. “Fuck, man. I can’t be a father, Nina.” I have zero idea on how to raise a child. I’d make him all kinds of fucked up. A wife and family are all the things I can never have.

I guess that’s why I’ve yet to take her to my man cave on the lower level of my house. What I have in there represents a life that’s not meant to be mine.

I briefly pinch my eyes shut, and the sudden image of Nina, pregnant with my child, fills my head. My heart stalls at the visual, but then I quickly shut it down. That life is not for me.

“Cole,” she says and touches my arm. “I know where I am in my cycle, and getting pregnant isn’t what I’m really worried about.”

“Ah, shit, yeah.” Of course she’d be worried about her health, as she should be. Fuck, she knows my reputation. “I’m clean. I promise you that. I’ve never gotten carried away like that before. I use protection all the time.”

“Not all the time.”

I scoff. “Apparently not.”

“I’m clean, too.”

“I know.”

“How do you know?”

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