Page 70 of Wherever My Heart Roams

Martina lit a cigarette from her robe pocket and blew smoke in her face.

Beth turned her head.

"I don't love him. I'm married to him, but I don't love him. And I can't get out of it. He won't give me a divorce."

"You haven't been married long enough to know if it will work or not. You have to try. And you need to stop doing what you are doing. You know that."

"Hey, this is my marriage, not yours. I don't love him. It was a mistake. How did I know it would turn out this way? Pa shoved him off on me, and I don't love him. I'm miserable. I want to go home, but Pa won't let me come home. John refuses to give me a divorce. So I cheat on him…and he knows all about it. It doesn't upset him unless he's drunk and as long as I give him some."

"Some what?"

"Some loving, of course." Martina's brow shot up. "Boy, you are something. So naïve."

"But Martina, you'll get a bad reputation. Have you even given it some consideration?" Beth's brows met in the middle of her forehead and she found herself flushing.

"First time someone comes along and wants to take me out of here, I'm leaving…and I won't be back." Martina affirmed. "I don't care what the old biddies around here think."

"You don't mean that…"

"Oh I darn sure do. You weren't gone any time at all and Pa decided it was time for me to marry. He just couldn't wait to get rid of me. And John…he was great when he courted me, but now that we're married, he just goes off to work in the fields and forgets I'm here. I’m alone all the time. I hate it here." Martina almost cried but she didn't let the tears fall. "Well look around you, there's bugs all over the kitchen, the curtains are torn, the bed's worn out. I hate it here."

"This is Pa's fault. You were too young to marry. And he had no reason to push you out, Wade set up an account at the General Store, so no one would go hungry. There is no reason for this. I'll speak to Pa about it. But if I get him to let you come home, you can't be sleepin' with every man that asks you, Martina. Do you understand?"

"I like it, Beth. With everyone but John that is…"

"Martina, if you come home, there will be none of that, understand?"

Martina sullied up her lip and frowned. "I ain't sure I can say no. I'm not sure I want to. I got men that pay me for it."

"My God!" Beth frowned at her. "What's come over you?"

"I tried it, and I liked it. That's what. I could go to a big city like Dallas or Ft. Worth and make all kinds of money in one of them saloons."

"But you're talking like a hussy." Beth hollered at her now. "Look at this place. You were raised better than this Martina."

The frustration in Beth's voice had Martina glancing about. "Well, at home all of us kids helped out. Here I don't have no help." Then her face turned cold and her frown was cemented into her face. "Pa sold me down the river, just so he wouldn't have to feed me. So he can go out and gamble. I hate him!"

"Martina!"

"It don't bother you, even a little that he sold you down the river too?"

"I'm leaving…I'll be back. I love you Martina, remember that, will you?"

She hugged her sister and shook her head.

As she walked home she wanted to cry. How could this have happened?

But Martina ran after her, "Beth," she pulled at her arm, "Don't talk to Pa."

Beth stopped and stared into her worried brown eyes, "Why not?"

"It's too late…" She ran back. "I can't go back to how it was. Not now!" She cried.

Beth sighed heavily as the tears rolled down her cheek. Maybe it was too late…

Chapter Nineteen

As night fell Beth and Mrs. Cahill sat on the front porch, listening to the cricket and frogs in the distance. A blanket of stars shone like diamonds above them. A couple of magnolia trees perfumed the air, and the dogwood colored the y

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