Page 10 of Paroled on Love

She smiled. "Funny, I went to SMU last year and no one ever offered to help me. My own sister wouldn’t even help me, and she's a real smart kid."

"Did you ask them to?" He asked.

"No…not others, but her, yeah. Do I have to ask people to help me?"

"Well, if you don't, how are others to know you need it? There's no shame in asking for help. If there was, my head would be buried in the sand all the time." He chuckled.

"The kids there, it's different Jeremiah. No one seems to care about anyone else. Their parents expect them to excel in everything. There's a lot of pressure just to survive it. If they don't, things get bad. At home and at school."

"Did you?"

"No. I didn't."

"Did things get bad?"

"Yeah…" Her voice seemed to crack. He heard it, but didn't move. "You see, my dad paid my tuition but if I didn't get all A's, he told me he wouldn't support me any longer. And he didn't. I had to get a job, a job I wasn't qualified to do, and I failed at that too. My parents…they don't have anything to do with me…I'm the only one in my family who won't graduate college. They are terribly ashamed of me. My dad says I'm no good and he wants nothing to do with me. They kicked me out and…" Now she was sobbing so hard, she couldn't stand any longer and just sat down in the hay and covered her face.

Jeremiah came toward her. "Hey, it's alright. You aren't a failure, Leah. You just need more help, that's all. It isn't wrong to ask for help."

"That depends on where you are from, I think."

He had walked over to her stall, saw her crumbling, and taken her in his arms and cradled her there.

She felt his big strong arms come around her and she cried her heart out.

"You've been alone a lot, haven't you?" He asked.

"Alone." She sniffed. "I'm always alone, Jeremiah. They hate me. They are ashamed of me. They won't come near me. I haven't even seen them since they told me to get out. All because I wasn't an A student, and I couldn't do the job dad got for me."

"I'm so sorry. It's rough enough for a guy to be on his own, but a girl. I'm sorry I misjudged you, too. People do that sometimes, without thinking. You've had it hard. I should have known that. I've seen enough kids come here that have had hard times. But, I could see the sadness in your eyes."

"You could. I'm sorry. I don't ever cry," she apologized.

"You can cry here all you want. In fact, Mom says crying is good for what ails you." Jeremiah said.

Realizing what she was doing, she stopped, dried her eyes and stood up. "I'm sorry, I have to get back to work now. I never cry."

He nodded. "Any time you need to talk, I'm here."

She looked at him differently now, his compassion startled her, and comforted her. No one had comforted her since Gloria.

She went back to work and after a long silence he began talking again.

"You know I should have seen it in you. But just because you have money, doesn't mean you have a good life. I can tell you one thing about my folks. No matter how much we kids fail, they never look down on us. They encourage us to try and do better, but they don't look down on us, or make us feel dumb. My dad knows I'm not really college material, but he hopes I can stick it out long enough to get a degree. I get tutoring help some."

"But if you want to work here, why do you need a degree?" She asked.

"Well, he says it's like a safety net, if you need that degree you have it to rely on. A degree can help you get a better paying job if you need or want it. And a man needs that assurance that he can make a good living for his family. I go, because he believes in me and wants the best and he says a college education is the best. But there are a lot of things they teach on campus that I don't like too."

"Like what?"

He hesitated saying anything because so many kids thought him too backward. "Most of the professors don't believe in God. So what they teach isn't always right. I've learned you have to think for yourself and not be brain-washed. Even if they are the smartest people on earth, if they don't have a belief system, they are lost, in my opinion. You see we were brought up to go to church and to believe in God. And I do. In fact, very strongly. But I ignore all those people, even though I want to stand up and argue with them, I ignore them. I'm there to get an education, but I won't be swayed by some of the things they try to teach. I think for myself." He affirmed.

"My parents quit going to church a long time ago. But, I believe in God and Jesus. It's one of the things that keeps me sane sometimes. God didn't let me go to juvenile, he put me here on this farm, for a purpose." She smiled. "I haven't admitted it to anyone, but I was scared to death I was going to juvenile. I've never been in jail before."

"I'm glad you're here, Leah." He called to her. "And I’m glad you can admit that to me."

"Me too." She smiled at him.