Page 183 of Heartache Duet

“It wasn’t just you—”

“It was, Ava.” He clears his throat. “I was impatient and selfish, and I don’t think I realized how… how bad things were for you. And that night when your mom asked me to come over, I felt like… God, this is going to sound so bad…”

“No, tell me,” I encourage.

He sucks in a breath, his chest rising. “I felt like if I was ever going to get you back, it was going to be through her, you know? But now, I don’t know; I’m invested. And now it feels so much bigger than just you and me.” He swallows audibly. “And I think about all the things I did that I regret and how much it hurt you, and now it’s twofold. Because I don’t want to hurt either of you and I feel like I will. I’ll let you both down—”

“Connor, no,” I whisper, blinking back the heat pricking my eyes.

“But I’m doing it again—being selfish—because I know you need time, and I want to give that to you. I do.” His chest ebbs and flows with every breath. “But it’s like… you’ve invaded every part of me, and I can’t get you out of my fucking head. Every time we’re apart, there’s this ache in my chest. It’s like I can’t fucking breathe unless I’m with you.”

“It’s like white noise,” I mumble, turning away so I can wipe at my tears without him seeing.

“What?” He gently grasps my jaw, forcing me to face him. “What’s like white noise?” he asks, his eyes flitting between mine.

I shrug, fear filling the depths of my words. “When you’re not around. It’s like white noise inside me, like everything is chaos and nothing makes sense, and then I hear your voice, or I see you and it’s as if… as if everything becomes clear and—” I don’t get to finish my thought before his mouth covers mine, the warmth of his breath coating every inch of me. His lips part, our tongues colliding. A moan escapes me when his fingers curl in my hair. Every movement, every touch becomes heated. I struggle to breathe, my entire body in flames. I pull back, suck in a breath, but he doesn’t stop. Can’t. He moves to my neck, kissing there, as his hands fall to my waist. I capture his mouth again, needing more of him. Tongues sliding against each other, he shifts us until I’m on my back, and he’s leaning over me, his kisses dominating, claiming me with every second that passes. I reach up, my fingers lacing through his hair as his mouth moves lower, lower, down my neck, to my collarbone. His hand splays across my stomach, the wetness of his tongue leaving a trail on the rise of my breasts. Then he shifts his hand, moving higher, taking my top with it. My fingers tense in his hair when his mouth finds one nipple and then the other. I squeeze my eyes shut, try to do the same with my thighs to relieve the ache building there, but his grip on my leg stops me. His palm cups my sex, and I release his hair, grasp on to the pillow beneath me, my hips rising. “Is this okay?” he asks, his voice hoarse, filled with lust, driving me wild.

“Please,” I whisper, spreading my legs wider for him.

His eyes lift, lock on mine, as his hand glides beneath my sleep shorts and underwear, his fingers quick to find the evidence of my desire. A single finger slides into me effortlessly, and my head rolls back when he starts pumping slowly, his mouth open on my taut stomach. I find his hair again, tug with one hand, the other reaching up to cup my breast. With my eyes closed, I can feel every movement, every touch, every vibration when he moans against my flesh. And then it begins, my entire body tensing, my core pulsing. “Oh, God, Connor,” I whisper, my hips moving, meeting him thrust for thrust. “I’m going to come.”

“No.”

My eyes snap open when he pulls away completely. “No?” I almost cry.

He’s between my legs now, fingers curled around the top of my shorts. He drags them down slowly, taking my underwear with them. He throws them behind him. “Take your top off,” he orders. I start to remove my top, watching him reach behind him to discard his own.

His bare, heated chest crashes against mine when his mouth does the same, and I’m lost. I’m so fucking lost in all things Connor. Gently, he pushes until I’m on my back again, his mouth leaving a heated trail as he slowly makes his way lower down my body. Sweat coats my flesh, my racing pulse beating wildly in my eardrums, throughout my bloodline. I bite my lip, swallow my moan when I feel his mouth at my center, his tongue sliding between my folds. “Oh, fuck.” And then he adds his fingers, and it doesn’t take long before I’m climbing again, higher and higher, my every exhale filled with bliss. I grasp his hair again, hold him there, my hips jerking, my breaths matching every throb, every ecstasy-filled beat of release. My back arches off the bed, and then my entire body follows as he sucks, devouring my liquid pleasure.

My body erupts.

Right before the world turns white.

Connor kisses the inside of my thighs, in turn, then slowly makes his way up, his mouth finding my neck. “God, I’ve wanted to do that for—” He doesn’t get a chance to finish before I’m pushing on his chest, rolling him onto his back, and straddling his hips, his hardness pressing against my naked core. I kiss my way down his torso, my tongue teasing the spot just above his shorts while my hand slides along his shaft.

“Ava,” he whispers, and I look up at him. At the blush burning his cheeks. “You don’t have to do this just—”

I lower his shorts and stroke him, skin to skin, feeling his thighs tense against my flattened palm.

“Fuck, babe.”

I lick his entire length.

“Ava,” he moans, tugging on my hair, forcing my head back to look at him. “Come here.”

With my hand still stroking, I make my way up his body again until my mouth’s an inch from his. He covers that space, his lips softly parting mine. I taste my pleasure on his tongue, and it only turns me on more. He pulls away before I’m ready, his hand on my nape, eyes searching mine. “I love you, Ava,” he breathes out. “I love you more now than I ever have.”

“Me too,” I whisper through the sudden knot in my throat. “God, Connor, I love you so much.” I kiss him again, and again, he breaks the kiss.

“I want you, Ava. All of you.”

“Are you sure?”

He rolls his eyes. “That’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever said.”

I giggle a breath, my lips finding his neck. “I have condoms in my nightstand.”

“Thank fuck,” he rushes out, reaching around him to open the drawer. He finds the unopened box and rips it open within seconds. Then he pulls out the instructions, unfolds them carefully.

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