Page 175 of Heartache Duet

He shrugs, all nonchalant like, and it has me leaning toward punching him in the face. “I want it to be a surprise.”

“For who? Me or my mom?”

“Both of you,” he says, but it comes out a question.

I jerk out of his hold and start pacing again.

Connor laughs. “Relax, would you?”

I turn to him, lift my chin. “Three years, remember?” I say, pointing to me. “I have three years of reasons not to relax, and you—”

“Okay,” he cuts in, stepping closer to me. “I get it. I’m sorry.”

“It just feels like you’re not taking this as seriously as you should be.”

Sighing, he drops his head, pinches the bridge of his nose. Then he sits down, taking my hand and forcing me to do the same. With his thigh against mine, he says, looking down at his hands, “I’ve thought of everything possible, okay? And if at any time she changes her mind, then we don’t go. It’s that simple. But I need you to have a little faith in me. It may seem like it’s not as important to me as it is to you, but… your mom is important to me, and not because she’s your mom, but because… she…” he trails off, another heavy breath leaving him. “I don’t know, Ava. Your mom—she makes me want to be a better person, and there aren’t a lot of people in this world who can do that. And I hate the way the world has treated her. I do.” He rubs the back of his neck, his frustration showing. “The thing is, I can’t control the world, but I can control me. And if I can do this one little thing to show her, and you even, that not everybody is made equal, then I will…” He faces me, his eyebrows dipped. “Through love and basketball.”

* * *

Connor: Dark enough yet?

Ava: Yeah, I think so.

Connor: Money. I’ll be there in five.

Ava: Okay. Hey, what’s the attire for tonight?

Connor: Attire?

Ava: Like, what should we wear?

Connor: Just make sure your mom is warm and wearing sneakers. As for you, I vote nude, but that would be awkward in front of your family, so…

Ava: Got it. And just for you, I’ll be nude under my clothes…

Connor: That’s… dammit. Give me ten now. I need to rub one out before we go.

Ava: Connor!

Connor: Say it again but moan it this time.

Ava: And we’re done here.

“Connor’s going to be here in five,” I tell Mom as I look up from my phone.

“Okay,” she replies, her voice barely a whisper. I know she’s scared; I can see it in her eyes. But she wants to do this, to push herself outside of her comfort zone, and I admire that so much. But still, it doesn’t take away my own fears for her.

I explain, “Connor said that if you change your mind at any time, we can just come back home.”

“Nah,” Trevor interrupts, walking into the room with Mom’s sneakers. He’s had to clean and re-lace them because it’s been years since she’s worn them. “You got this. Right, Mama Jo?”

Mom raises a fist, but there’s no inflection in her tone when she says, “I got this.”

When I got home today, Krystal mentioned that Mom had brought it up a few times, but it had been another zero-day for her, so it was hard to distinguish how she truly felt about it.

Trevor hands me the sneakers, and I slide them on Mom’s feet, then lace them up. “Does that feel okay?”

“Yes.”

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