Page 48 of Pieces of Me

I rush out to the front of the house, my stomach sinking when I see Colton’s car parked behind Bri’s. “Yeah, it’s still here,” I mumble, looking around.

“Jeez,” Maggie says. “There must be a lot of people there if you haven’t even seen them.”

I freeze; the only part of my body still fluid is the beating of my heart. I’m almost scared to look, but I know I need to. I turn toward the house, to the window I know is the bedroom. A dull light glows between the blinds, and suddenly, I’m moving again.Running. “I’ll call you back.” I’m already at the bedroom door when I hang up, shove the phone in my pocket, then slam my fist against the door. “Jamie!”

“Fuck off,” Colton calls, and Jamie… Jamielaughs.

I attempt to open the locked door, my blood hot beneath my flesh. “Open the fucking door, or I’m going to kick it in!”

“Fuck off!” It’s Jamie this time, and so I do what I said I’d do.

I kick in the fucking door.

My pulse beats out of my chest when I see them on the bed, Jamie beneath him with the bottom of her dress pulled up to her waist. My fingertips burn as I drag them against the back of Colton’s t-shirt, pulling him off her and throwing him against the wall. He knocks into a shelf, books and trophies falling to the floor. “What the fuck, bro?” he shouts, quickly righting himself. Jamie’s sitting up in the bed now,cackling, and Colton pushes my shoulder, forcing me to face him. I don’t see much of his face before my fist connects with his mouth, and now Brianna’s here, wide-eyed and panicked as she looks at the scene.

“Holden, what are youdoing?” She goes to Colton first. Because she’llalwaysgo to him. Whether I’m standing right fucking here or not. Colton’s ass is on the floor, his knees raised, and I try… I try to breathe through the anger and jealousy hardening every muscle inside me. “Have you lost your dang mind?” Brianna shouts.

I take a second, note that Colton’s fully dressed besides his lowered zipper, and Jamie… Jamie hasn’t stopped laughing. “Did you have more to drink? How fucking trashed are you?!”

Jamie’s laughter turns to a simmering giggle as her shoulders lift. “I just don’t know why you’re hittinghim,” she slurs, standing to adjust her underwear and then her breasts—half peeking out over her dress. Bile sits in my throat, just waiting to expel. “You should hit me! I mean,I’mthe one you’re mad at!”

I shake my head. “Jamie, this isn’t—”

“I’mthe one you warned him against, right?” She smiles, sloppy, and I don’t know why I didn’t see this coming. “What were his exact words, Colton?” She doesn’t wait for an answer. “Oh, that’s right…” She sways on her feet as she moves toward me, stabbing her finger into my chest. “Who the fuck knows what, orwho,she’s been doing the past five years!” Jamie laughs once. “You’re just like her.”

“Likewho?” I ask while Jamie stumbles toward the open door.

Brianna stops her. “Just wait,” she says, adjusting the straps of Jamie’s dress. “You’re just… a little exposed, is all. Come on.” She takes Jamie’s hand and leads her to the bathroom.

I stand in the middle of the room, taking stock of everything that’s happened. It feels like hours since I kicked open the door. It’s only been minutes. Maybe even seconds. “You owe me,” Colton says, and he can fuck right off.

“Fuck off,” I murmur, checking out the broken shelf. He walks away without another word, and I sit on the edge of the bed, my head in my hands.

“Why did you lie to me?” Brianna says, and I don’t know if she’s talking to Jamie or me.

I lift my head, my position giving me a direct view into the bathroom where Jamie and Brianna stand opposite each other. Bri runs a cloth under the tap, then reaches up to wipe the smeared makeup from under Jamie’s eyes.

“I’ve barely said two words to you,” Jamie answers, her tone flat.

“I asked if you drew, and you said no.”When the fuck did that happen?

Jamie’s blinks are as slow as her words. “I don’t draw.”

“Did you ever?” Bri asks.

I stand quickly, wait for the two girls in my life to face me head-on. “Let’s go.”

23

Jamie

If I ever want to know what it feels like to disappoint both parents, not just one, I’ll remember this very moment—sitting in the back seat of Brianna’s car while Holden drives and she sits shotgun, and they keep looking at each other while silently judging the girl they feel responsible for.

Even though Brianna’s car is an open-top Jeep, I feel like I’m suffocating on the thickness of the air filling my lungs. It’s as though the world is folding in on me, the weight of our deception squeezing at my throat, making it almost impossible to see, to breathe. Because it’s only now I’m forced to realize that everything I thought I knew was a lie. And the person I believed Holden to be is the biggest lie of them all.

He pulls over at the front of a small cottage-style home, and Brianna turns to me. “It’s my grandparents’ house,” she says, smiling that sweet, innocent smile of hers. “My grandma’s a light sleeper, so the headlights would wake her.” I don’t know why she feels the need to tell me this, and I really wish I didn’t care about her or that I didn’tlikeher. It would make things so much easier.

I look at the house, at the pale-yellow siding and the hydrangeas lining the front yard, and offer a smile of my own. “It’s a lovely home.”

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