Page 29 of Pieces of Me

“Nope. Mr. Eastwood is his dad, and hehatesit when people call him that. He gets so mad, this vein pops out in his neck,” she says, pointing to a spot on her neck. “Anyway, everyone calls him Big H. He’s been that or just H even beforeyourHolden was born.” I want to tell her that there’s nothing about “my” Holden that’s actually mine, but I keep my mouth shut. We both dig into the food while she continues to talk between mouthfuls. “He was twelve pounds when he was born, came out of the womb with abs of steel, bulging biceps and a head full of hair.” She lifts the bottle of wine, questioning.

“No, thank you,” I state. Then ask, “So how many Holdens are there here and how do you differentiate them all by name?” I don’t know why I’m so intrigued by this, but I’ve never known generations of men with the same name.

“Holden Senior, Big H’s dad, is still around. He comes here to help whenever he feels like it. Kids call him Mr. Eastwood, but most people call him Senior or Clint.”

“Clint?”

“Like ClintEastwood,” she laughs out. “And then there’s your Holden. He’s just Holden. Sometimes people call him Junior, but he’ll rarely answer to it.”

“Interesting,” I murmur, causing her to grin over at me. I settle in my seat, get more comfortable. Five years ago, you couldn’t catch me dead having this level of conversation with a stranger. My experience in social situations was severely stunted as a child and remained that way through my adolescence. One of the most incredible things I’ve gained from my solo travels is meeting new people and slowly building the courage and confidence to act civilized.

“So, how did you and Big H meet?” I ask.

She laughs once. “It’s a long story.”

I look around us, notice the setting sun meeting the horizon far, far in the distance. This really is a beautiful spot. I don’t know why Holden had been so eager to leave it in the first place. I face her again. “I have nowhere to be.”

Maggie smiles at nothing in particular. “We never reallymet,per se. His dad and my dad were best friends since they were kids, and so when they both had boys the same year, it was only natural that they became friends too. So I’d always see him around the house, or we’d come here, and I’d always, and I mean”—she leans forward to touch my arm, squeezing it to emphasize—“alwayshad a crush on him.”

“That’s so cute.”

Rolling her eyes, she adds, “It’s cute when I’m five, and he’s thirteen, right? Or even when I’m ten, and he’s eighteen. It’s innocent. But when he’s twenty-six and I’m barely eighteen, and I finally act on those feelings…”

“Oh, no…” I breathe out, pushing my plate away. As empty as my stomach is, I don’t feel the need to fill it. I’m too enraptured by her words, by every twist and turn of the story, and she’s barely even started telling it.

“Yeah,” she sighs out. “I was halfway through my senior year when we started sneaking around, seeing each other behind everyone’s backs. Thethrillof it all, Jamie,” she says dreamily, and she makes me feel like we’re girlfriends who’ve known each other for years. I’ve never had a girlfriend before. It’s kind of nice. “He was my first love, and he told me I was his, too, and I pictured a life with him—the life I’m living now…”

“So what happened?” I push. I need to knoweverything.

“My parents threw me a graduation party, and H was there, and… apparently, it was a single look that he’d given me while I was cutting the cake that clued in my brother to what was happening.”

“Nooo.”

“Yeah, he wasn’t too happy about it. Which, I mean, it kind of makes sense given our age difference and Big H’s history with the ladies. Plus, I’d just finished high school and had accepted a spot at a college in Pittsburgh.” She takes a sip of her wine, and I sip my tea. “Mick—my brother—he wished for bigger things for me than this town. He saw better opportunities pretty muchanywhereelse, and while I wanted to fight him on it, I respected him enough to listen to him. Big H did, too, and he agreed with Mick, so… we decided to go our separate ways. See other people.”

I lean back in my chair, my disappointment clear. “That sucks.”

“Uh-huh,” she murmurs, downing the rest of her wine and filling the glass right back up. “A few weeks later, I started hearing rumors that the perfect pairing of Tammy Wakefield and Joseph Kovács was no longer perfect…”

“Stop...” I say, but I don’t know if I mean it. I don’t want to hear any more because I know where it goes, but I alsoneedto hear the rest because I’msoinvested.

“And a few weeks after that, Big H called to tell me he’d asked Tammy out on a date.”

“Oh, no!” I almost want to press my palms to my ears.

“And a few weeks afterthat…”

“Holden,” I whisper, frowning.

Maggie nods, then heaves out a breath as she leans back in her seat. “So…. I went off to college, graduated, got an entry-level job as a data analyst at a large firm, and worked my way up to the top. I was doing all the things my brother and my parents wanted me to do. And suddenly, I was closing in on thirty, doing really well for myself, making bank, and so I bought a McMansion because it felt like the right next step. And then one night, I was sitting out in the yard with a glass of wine, staring at this stupidly large pool I’d never even used, and I thought to myself…what the fuck am I doing?I had the entire world at my fingertips, and I’d never been unhappier.” She chokes on the last few words, her eyes filling with tears, and so I reach over, take her hand in mine.

I clear the knot in my throat and say, “So you came home to find the happiness you’d been searching for?”

She nods. “Within a month, I sold all my possessions, quit my job, and moved back into my childhood bedroom back on the wheat farm.”

My smile is slow to consume me. “And then Big H came along like the big, badass giant that he is and literally swept you off your feet, picked you up, and threw you over his shoulder like a caveman, chanting,‘Woman mine! Woman mine!’?”

Maggie’s guffaw is so loud and so natural and everything I hoped it would be. “Something like that,” she laughs out, wiping the tears of sadness mixed with joy from her eyes.

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