Page 67 of A Dark Duet

“Well, knowing Jaden and how private he is, I’m not surprised. Has he taken you to his house yet?” she asks, lowering the tone of her voice, not wanting anyone to overhear our conversation if they happen to walk inside the dance studio.

Giving her a deflated look, knowing it’s one of the things I have been secretly hoping for when he would finally let me in. Literally. “No,” I tell her.

Even as I say the two-letter word, I know I haven’t pressed the issue with him letting me stay at his house. His main home is like a panic room and only Nate is allowed inside. He landed in the foster care system because his parents were inhumane and abused him but no one, not even Nate, knows the details. He is closed off and doesn’t let anyone inside his home. It’s probably why he insisted on having me live in the apartment. He stays with me most nights unless he has a fight to attend with Nate or another engagement or he is training late, which has been the norm for the last six months. Now thinking about it, he has been planning to go pro sooner than I thought and never hinted it to me.

Giselle places her hands on her hips, clearly annoyed that he hasn’t taken me to his house or even discussed his future plans with me. Jaden is comfortable with the arrangement of me living in the apartment and not allowing me inside his personal living space, and personally, I can understand.

I also come from a horrible past of neglect and abuse. Except mine was the sexual kind. The not providing food or acceptable clothing always being threatened with eviction kind. The kind of abuse that involves your mother being so high she can’t speak coherently or remember a single thing the next day. There were times I had to use a neighbor’s garden hose to take a shower in the middle of the night because she was too high to work and didn’t have enough money to pay the utilities. My mother is a heroin addict and would sell me for her next hit if she could. She doesn’t remember who my father is either. It could have been anyone. A drug dealer. The neighbor living in the trailer next door. My father literally could have been anyone from my neighborhood and I wouldn’t have known. Luckily, her drug use and her involvement with Jack landed her in jail for some time.

“That’s fucked up, Brie. Are you serious?”

My hands slide down the metal pole in defeat. “Yeah, it doesn’t matter, Giselle. He told me that maybe one day, but that day hasn’t come. And I’m not going to pressure him. I totally understand. If he doesn’t feel comfortable letting me in that part of his life. Then I have to accept it. It goes both ways.”

“You mean it’s convenient for you because you don’t have to tell him everything you have been through. Things you never told me. The only way I found out—”

I interrupt her. “Please don’t say it,” I whisper, my eyes pleading. Her being raped by Jack, my mother’s drug dealer, because I asked her to come with me to help my mother was all my fault. It’s a knife that is stuck twisted inside my heart because I know I’m the one to blame. She was never supposed to be there, and I almost lost her.

If it wasn’t for Nate and Jaden, I don’t know where we would have ended up. They got us out of South Dakota and vowed to protect us like our guardian angels. Well, maybe like gatekeepers of hell. I was getting beat up while they made me watch. I wake up in cold sweats reliving that moment along with every other dark moment from my past. No one knows that I have flashbacks when I sleep or that sometimes I like when Jaden doesn’t come home late at night to have him witness my nightmares. She is right. It is convenient for me to not have him invite me to live with him inside his home or sleep over. What if he witnessed a nightmare and finds out what really happened to me?

Her eyes soften because I have expressed my regret about what happened, asking her to get involved in helping me clean up my mess with my mother. Giselle was just trying to help me out when my mother asked me to give her money or Jack and his miscreants would hurt her. All that did was channel their attention on us.

“I’m sorry, Brie. I didn’t mean to bring it up. I…”

My eyes fill with tears, and one escapes running down my cheek as my hand begins to shake holding the shiny silver pole. The memories of that fateful day replaying in my mind. The tears only come in front of her or when I’m alone in the apartment where I try to shed my sorrow.

When the nightmares come, I lie crying in the dark, hoping the demons stop reminding me of the pain. Hoping they have mercy on me.

She hugs me and my arms wrap around her while I try to keep my tears at bay. “It still hurts, Giselle. I’m so sorry. A part of me died that night,” I say, whispering into her embrace.

“I know, Brie. I know.” She steps back, wiping my cheeks and I give her a watery smile, trying to compose myself to face Jaden and congratulate him. He needs my support, not my whining about him not telling me.

Taking off my heels and pulling sweats over my dance outfit, I slide my feet into a pair of pool slides and open the door. “Let’s go and congratulate him. He must be so excited. I remember him telling me that he would fight when Nate was ready for a break.”

“Yeah, Nate said he was taking time off, switching roles with Jaden. He needs it. Jaden is going into the heavyweight class.” My eyes widen while we lock the door of the dance studio to head over to the gym.

“Heavyweight?” I lift my blonde locks and wrap them in a bun on top of my head. “He will have to gain weight and that means he will get bigger.”

“That’s what I said. It adds more pressure to the training.”

“Shit. I can’t believe he is actually doing it. It has been his dream to go pro. He can fight. I have seen him sparring with Nate and the other fighters.” My brows pinch in worry and I sigh. “I just worry about him getting hurt.”

Giselle snakes her arm through mine as we walk across the plaza toward the freestanding MMA gym. “It’s something I have gotten used to. I’m the one cleaning the blood off the bedroom sheets.”

“Maybe if I’m patient and supportive, Jaden will want me to help him. I want to be there for him and support him like he has supported me. I love him, Giselle.”

I am more than halfway done with becoming a physical therapist for combat fighters. It is what I’ve wanted to do since meeting Jaden. I have been working toward a degree and physical therapy would fit in so well in helping him out with the gym and even the dancers at Giselle’s studio.

“Does he know? Have you told him how you feel?”

“Not really. We just take it a day at a time. No pressure.” The sex is great but it’s not vanilla sex. With Jaden, it’s hard sex. He’s never hinted at a marriage proposal or that we are in a serious relationship, he hasn’t said any of those words and we both respect our boundaries. We also don’t see other people and I understand him. I think all these things in my head but I don’t say them out loud to Giselle.

“Brie, you need to talk to him. You should be honest with him and let him know how you feel. One thing I’ve learned being with Nate is that you have to communicate with each other. If you don’t, things get mixed up. Then the worst happens. You assume.”

My steps falter as we approach the entrance to the massive gym. Before I open the door, I answer, “We’ll see.”

When we enter the gym, the smell of musk and sweat hits my senses. We both walk side by side, passing the desk where Charlie greets us with a smile. “Hello ladies.”

“Hey Charlie. Do you know where Brie can find Jaden?” He points at the door to his office, but his eyes look at me with a frown on his face.

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