Page 77 of Cold Hard Kisses (London Mafia Kings)

My brother was a romantic at heart, but I wasn’t. Up until a month ago, I’d have said I didn’t even have a heart. Something had changed inside me since I’d had Hallie in my life, though. I’d never asked nor wanted to be softened, but she had done that to me.

I wasn’t sure it was a good thing.

“What am I fighting for, Leo?” I said. “For the alliance between the two families, or for Hallie?”

“How about both.”

“I’ll admit that I care for her. I hadn’t been expecting that.” I shook my head. “I can’t think straight with her not in my life anymore. It’s like being tortured. All I can think about is her, where she is and who she might be seeing. The thought of another man coming into her life makes me want to reach into my chest and tear out my heart.”

I looked up to see my mother compressing a smile between her lips.

“Sounds to me that you more than just care for her.”

I sucked in a breath.

Love was a dangerous word. It made promises people didn’t always keep. It opened you up for heartbreak and disappointment. If you didn’t love, you couldn’t be hurt.

My mother hadn’t finished. “Maybe you need to stop being a selfish prick.”

“Thanks, Mum.”

She shrugged. “Well, it’s true. You men always see things from your own point of view. Think about how this girl is feeling. She’s most likely been pushed into this whole marriage by her father, and then I highly doubt you’ve treated her like a princess. Don’t expect for a woman to put up with everything just because of a handsome face. Unless the person behind that face matches his good looks, he’ll quickly become ugly to whoever he’s treated badly.”

Ihadtreated her badly. I should have worshipped the fucking ground she walked on and instead I’d humiliated her, and belittled her, and controlled her. I’d thought I was fine on my own, and then she’d shown me how it was possible to actually be happy, and I’d thrown that away.

“You’re right, on all counts. And I do more than care for her, but I think I’ve sent her running from me for good. I crossed a line.”

“So fix it,” my father said.

I shook my head. “It makes us appear weak if I go crawling back to her. It’ll make the Wynters think we need them more than they need us, and we already seem weak after refusing to take any action to avenge Harvey’s murder.”

Why was I being like this? I wanted Hallie back, didn’t I? I actually didn’t give a shit about the alliance anymore. Even if neither of our families existed, I’d still want to wake up to her every morning. I missed her dancing around my kitchen and singing out loud even though she couldn’t hold a tune. I missed finding her in the bath, her long limbs and breasts barely covered with bubbles. I missed the way she ordered far too much food whenever we got a takeaway, because she could never decide what she wanted.

I missedher.

“If I go to her now, she’s going to think the only reason I want her back is because you’ve told me to fix it.”

“Isn’t that a good enough reason?” my mother said.

I couldn’t meet her eye. What the fuck was wrong with me? Why was I so emotionally stunted that I couldn’t shout from the rooftops that I actually cared for someone else, and it was killing me?

“Maybe she’ll come to me,” I said instead.

My mother shook her head. “That’s not good enough, Tam. That’s not what a woman wants.”

If she did come to me, would it only be becauseherfather was makingher? Would that be enough for me now, to have her against her will rather than not at all? My cock stirred. Yes, I realised, it would be. I didn’t care how she was in my life—even if she was being forced—just as long as I had her.

My father folded his arms. “We have to be smart. We have more than just the Gilligans to worry about now, thanks to your antics in Estonia. Word is the Estonians are getting itchy. The brother has never shown up, and they’re not happy about it.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Fuck them. They stole our money—money we paid them for. They should be happy we only killed one of them.”

My father sucked air over his teeth. “I think ‘happy’ is the one thing they’re not. And don’t forget we have the opening of the club on Friday night. I’ve invited all of London’s press, and anyone who is anyone will be there. I expect to have my family by my side, making me look good.”

I sighed and shoved my hands into my pockets. “I’m not really in the mood for a big event.”

“I don’t give a shit what you’re in the mood for. I expect my family by my side. You talk about being weak, Tam, but now is the time to show everyone we’re still a united family, despite the loss of Harvey.”

He was right. “Fine. I’ll show my face, but that’s all.”

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