Page 58 of The Betrayer
“My parents’ divorce wasn’t terrible—it was pretty friendly, all told. They’re still friends, so I don’t understand why my father would be scared away from any type of real relationship just because of that.”
“He doesn’t seem so great with regular relationships, either.” Angela sighed. She was clearly over this conversation. Then she shifted and was on one elbow again, leaning over me. “Besides, who knows how your father feels about his failed marriage. Maybe it scared him away, or showed him he was bad at it, or a million other things. And you don’t have to have a bad divorce for it to screw your view of things. I mean, look at you.”
I very suddenly regretted ever bringing up the subject of relationships with Angela. I should have seen this coming, but I hadn’t, and now I was trapped.
“What do you mean about me?” I asked casually.
“I mean that you seem to be weary of relationships yourself. You told me I’m your first relationship to go beyond a few dates in a long time. We’ve been seeing each other for months, but you won’t talk about the future. Every time I mention anything, you run the other way. It seems to me that maybe your parents’ divorce affected more than just your father.”
Pushing myself into a seated position, I moved back away from Angela, unconsciously so, but still aware it was happening.
“We haven’t been dating for that long, Angela. If I want to take things slowly, so what? We’re in a relationship. Why do we have to talk about being serious right now?”
Angela followed me up, sitting across from me, her gaze intense. “Because I want to talk about it. Your father wants to pretend he’s not getting any younger, but I know I’m not. I don’t have time to waste.”
“Time to waste on what?”
“On boys who don’t know what they want.”
The words stung. “I know what I want, Angela, and right now, this is what I want. I’ve been clear about that from the beginning. I thought you were, too.”
“Well, you thought wrong. I’ve been clear about my intentions lately. You’re the one who won’t talk about them.”
I rubbed the bridge of my nose. It was way too late for this argument, and I had to get up way too early for my flight. “Look, Angela. You’re the one who flew out here and expected something I can’t give right now. This was a business trip—you know how important it was and how much work it would be. You’re one of the people who gave me pointers about business in China to begin with. I’m not sure what you expected, but I’m not up for this conversation now.”
“So, when are you going to be up for it?” Angela crossed her arms, her scowl visible even in the dark. At least, I could feel it.
“When we get home, and the dust has settled from everything. I have a lot on my plate right now. You know I do. The least you could do is give me some time to think. If you can’t deal with that, I guess you’ll have to figure something out on your own.”
We continued to glare at one another for a long moment, neither of us talking. Then I shook my head and got out of bed.
“Where are you going?” Angela’s tone was tight, the irritation under the surface poorly concealed.
“I have to get up for my flight in a few hours. If you’re not leaving with me, I’m going to sleep on the couch so I don’t wake you up.”
“You’re not doing this for me. You’re doing this so you don’t have to talk to me,” Angela spat.
I stopped in the middle of collecting a pillow and thin coverlet from the end of the bed and turned to Angela. “I’m going out there because I’m tired, I have to get up in a few hours, and I need to get at least a few hours of sleep. I told you when we could talk about this subject, okay?”
Angela watched me for a long moment, entirely still. Then her whole demeanor changed—her shoulders dropped and shifted, her chin came down, and she cocked her head to the side as she reached for my arm. “Look, Paul, I’m sorry. You know I get scared sometimes about ending up alone. It’s the reason I push so hard sometimes. Let’s not fight, okay?”
Her tone had shifted from cold and angry to soft and almost wheedling. Her hand around my wrist tried to pull me back into the bed. But I pulled away, thrown off by her sudden change.
“No, I’m going to sleep on the couch. I don’t want to disturb you when I wake up. My stuff is already by the door, and my clothes are in the bathroom so that you won’t hear anything.”
“Paul, I—” She reached out for me again.
“It’s fine, Angela. We’ll talk about it soon, okay? Don’t worry about it. Get some sleep, and I’ll see you when your plane lands.”
I turned and walked from the room, blanket trailing behind me, and shut the door. I heard muffled, angry words but ignored them as I made my way to the couch.
Even though I knew I had to get up in only a few hours, sleep wouldn’t come. My thoughts kept swirling around Angela and her swiftly changing moods.
When we had first begun dating, she had seemed steady and mature. Lately, I had been seeing a more petulant side to her. The fact that she could go from angry to sweetly cajoling in one heartbeat to the next was disturbing. She hadn’t suddenly become sorry or understood why this wasn’t the moment to talk about our relationship.
Was she trying to manipulate me or was she salvaging the last hour of the trip? I didn’t know, and I didn’t care—both made me equally uncomfortable.
In relationships, the longer you went, the more you learned about a person. You got to see their flaws. Angela had seen some of mine already, but I wasn’t so sure how I felt about these particular flaws, nor what they would mean for me in the future.
