Page 62 of The Lies You Love
“Why?” I can’t hide the exasperation.
Peter comes into view behind her, opening the door all the way. “Because she already agreed to marry me.”
Fuck.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Auden
The right choice and the only choice aren’t exclusive, and that’s evident as I stare blankly at the ceiling instead of getting ready for work. I’ve been in this bed for too long. Pork licks my bare foot demanding a walk.
“Fine,” I say, rolling over to slide into sweatpants and a hoodie.
My hair is a mess, but it’s shorter now, so it works. The dark circles under my eyes are so deep, I know nothing is going to fix them. I drown myself in soap during a quick shower and put the leash on Pork before stepping into my hallway and locking my door.
Once we get going, I just walk. I walk until I’m starving. I grab a cup of coffee and a corndog from a cart because you are what you eat and I’m a wreck. I only said yes to Peter because of the guilt I felt at being in love with another man. Most women would use that as a reason to say no or at least that’s what Betty said. When Beck came over, I wasn’t prepared. The things he said were the things I dreamed of hearing coming from his lips. Except they came at exactly the wrong time. Peter left that night and told me he was going to give me time to think my decision through given the new circumstances. A noble thing to grant when you think about how messed up it is. Peter encouraged me to talk to Beck. He said he wanted to give me enough space to explore all of my feelings. When I asked if that meant he was telling me to cheat on him, he shook his head and said he wouldn’t marry a woman who had any regrets. Fair, but after watching Beck crumble on the carpet in my hallway when he found out I was engaged to be married to another man, I can’t muster the courage to call him.
I give Pork the last bite of my corndog because fuck, life really is too short. I give him water from his water bottle as I chug the coffee and we continue our walk. We’re ten blocks from the pet store and I decide to head back to distract myself. I have several part-time employees now and they’ve picked up the slack while I’ve laid in my depression lair of self-pity. Oh, poor Auden, two men who want to love her forever. As I round the corner, I see him. Sitting outside the pet store his head in his hands. My heart skips a beat, which is nothing to worry about when Beckett is around. He sees me coming and his face morphs into something that resembles a smile, but it’s forced.
Walking up, I see the construction happening in the building next to mine. “I bought it,” he says when he sees me peering into the front glass window. “As a grand gesture. As a way to be next to you every day of my life even if you won’t have me in your life. I’ll always be close to you and there will never be another woman for me, Auden.”
I lose my breath. “You’re putting your practice here?” I ask, unbelieving.
He shrugs. “There’s this well-loved and well-established pet store right next door and my business adviser told me it was the best spot in town to move my practice to be closer to home.”
I get butterflies. Like some lust-crazed teenager.
“You might not believe I’m the right choice for you because I’ve made mistakes in the past, but I’m never, not for one second, going to let you forget what it feels like to be next to me. You want to marry that dude to keep your conscience clean, do it, but I’m going to be here. Waiting for the day you can’t deny we belong together. Waiting for you to stop living a lie because, Auden, I’m never going to stop loving you.”
“You bought this? It was for sale? Seriously?” He’s right. I’ll never be able to escape him. I don’t want to.
“Come look,” he says, extending an arm.
“Let me say hello to my employees first.” I’m visibly sweating my nerves are so high. This is the decision; it has to be. I bring Pork to Marcy and hand her the leash. “I’m going to be next door checking out the space. The new owner is here.”
“Oh, we saw him. He’s been asking for you for the past three days.”
I clear my throat. “He’s a friend,” I explain.
Marcy grins all gums. “Yeah.”
I cast a look over my shoulder and head next door. The front room is obviously being transformed into a waiting room because there’s a big slab desk and wires coming out of a hole on top for computers. The loud hammering is coming from a room in the rear. I poke my head in and see a worker knocking hardwood into place. From the looks of things, it’s almost ready to open. Maybe even next week. There isn’t time to think about what this means for me, for my mind, it’s happening at warp speed. “We can put a door on the other side of that break room. It leads to your backroom.”
“Does it?” I ask, letting the moment carry me away. “You did this to be close to me? Really?”
“I’ve done a shit job of holding you. In fact, I spent time a lot of time talking myself out of you when I knew from the second I laid eyes on you that I wanted to be close to you.” He exhales, and he looks tired. I’d fathom a guess he’s as tired as I am. “Do you accept my apology?”
I nod once. “You sort of chained yourself to me. I guess that might be the most apt apology in the history of time.”
“It needed to be more, and nothing I could say would speak as loud as action. I know why you said yes to him.” Beck looks down, a haunted look passing over his face. “Is that what you want or would you entertain other offers?”
I smile, but he’s still not looking at me. “This isn’t a game show, Beck. It’s my life.”
“It could be our life.”
“Are you making me an offer?” I ask. He pulls me into what I can only assume will be an exam room. The wood floor is finished in here, and there is already an exam table and a sink in the corner. Less than a week until opening I amend in my mind. Beck locks the door and spins to face me.
“It’s an offer you want?” Beck asks. “I wasn’t prepared to do this right now, but damn it, I don’t want to waste another second.”
