Page 40 of The Lies You Love
Mom exhales noisily. “He stayed back in the office today. I talked to him before I called you. He was trying to get answers. They weren’t working together on this audit.” She speaks the last words slower.
My hands shake on the phone, and my pulse is hammering against my neck. “I’m going down there to get answers.”
I hear my dad mumble something in the background. “They said the robber got away. Don’t go over there, Beck. It’s dangerous.”
“I’m going to find Maisey.” There’s a finality to my voice and Mom doesn’t argue. Or won’t because she’s that worried. The bond I’ve shared with my sister since the day I was born is something no one messes with. She always watched over me until I got so big it made sense for me to start looking out for her instead. I chose a college that had a good veterinary program but was also only a twenty-minute drive from her because I needed to be close. I hang up the phone and decide against driving because traffic is bad. I lace on my tennis shoes and go for a jog. It should be about ten minutes quicker than driving, except my pace picks up automatically. This isn’t a normal run where all I focus on is breathing, my thoughts are torrid as I think of the scene on television. It was chaos, yellow tape, melee, words like casualties, victims, and death. My breathing is ragged, and I’m sweat-slicked when I reach the edge of the scene and the law enforcement has it cleared more than what was showing on the news when I left. There’s a reporter and his cameraman packing up his van. There are some ambulances driving away, and medics are covering a man on the ground in the lobby of the bank with a sheet. Slamming my eyes shut, I force myself to use actual words.
“Who were the victims? How many?”
He nods at the ambulance where they’re wheeling a gurney. My heart leaps into my throat when one of her hands falls off the narrow bed. “A lot. That one is still alive. Are you missing someone?”
I shake my head because this can’t be real. I just had lunch with her. We have plans to go camping this weekend. I was going to bring my new girlfriend. Maisey said it would be the test if she was the girl for me. We were going to study together even though she knows jack shit about animal anatomy, she’s helping me study for my final next week. She’s there for me in every way and infiltrates every molecule of my life. I stumble as I approach the back of the ambulance where my sister is. The only reason I know it’s her is because of the sleeve of her shirt hanging off the side. It has brightly colored birds covering it, and I gave her hell for her wacky fashion choice at lunch.
“Sir, step back,” a paramedic says.
“That’s my sister,” I roar, ignoring them, grabbing a bar on the side to hoist myself up. There’s blood covering her. It’s on her face, the white parts of her shirt are soaked red, and her light brown pants are saturated. My stomach heaves. “Maisey. Maisey,” I call out, heading to the head of the bed where another paramedic is trying to stop the bleeding to an injury near her shoulder. “Can you hear me?” They tell me to sit down because they’re heading to the hospital, and I do as I’m told, without removing my gaze from my sister. It’s not anything I ever thought I’d see.
There is rattling behind me, and the door slams closed as the ambulance takes off. Even as my stomach lurches, I can’t look away. “Is she going to be okay?” I ask, but no one answers, they’re too busy pumping an IV filled with medicines. Her eyes flicker open when I call out to her, head barely turning so she can glimpse me. Falling closer, tears prick my eyes. “Maisey, it’s going to be okay. You’re fine.”
Her lips pull thin. “Beck,” she croaks. “I love you.” She didn’t know it at the time but with those three words Maisey associated love with death.
I swallow hard but can’t say it back. Too final, too real. “It’s going to be okay. They’re fixing you up.” I grab her hand and wrap my other hand around her bird-clad wrist. So much blood. No one else gets it. No one else gets me. “You’re okay,” I say, except it comes out as a sob. “You’ll get better.”
The paramedic’s eyes meet mine, and I see the truth, but he doesn’t give her that. He leans over and lies to her instead. She smiles at his words. Her lips are sleepy and serene. Maisey squeezes my hand. I get closer to her, and with my lips pressed close to her ear I whisper, “I love you.”
Everything crumbles after that—after I say goodbye. The monitors beep and the people scramble for different bottles and equipment. Maisey says three more words before her eyes close, and her face is covered in the oxygen mask. “He spoke French.”
****
“Maybe one day you’ll tell me,” Auden says, pulling me from the nightmare. “Or never is okay too.”
I clear my throat and calm my racing thoughts. “One day,” I agree. I could have done something. I could have saved Maisey. If I weren’t in such a rush to finish lunch and get back to studying, she wouldn’t have been at the bank when the robbery happened. I alone am responsible for what happened to my sister.
“I am technically a veterinarian,” I tell her. “I graduated college and got through my residency. My heart wasn’t in it anymore, so I changed career paths.”
Her gaze is soft and probing, but I can tell she’s shocked. “Because of what happened to your sister?”
“When the recession hit and there was a call for Charge Men, I decided to take the opportunity to protect the innocents who were wrapped up in a villainous world.” I look away. “Yeah, it was mostly because animals and medicine reminded me of her. It was hard.”
Auden hums. “You don’t even seem to like animals.”
“You own a pet store and you don’t have a pet,” I reply, grinning because I know she’s looking at the side of my face.
“Fair point,” she says. “Will you ever go back? Be a vet?”
The pit in my stomach from recalling that day hardens. It will be there all day. “I don’t know. My family probably wishes I would.”
Auden sits up. “Let’s take a walk along the stream.”
Sighing, I sit up and everything feels painful. I grab her hand. “Do you think you’ll ever get a dog?”
“No,” she says. “They’re only a liability. Everyone loves their dog and then they die. The thought of it is enough to never get one.”
I squeeze her hand. “Isn’t that the whole point? The good news is that nothing lasts forever. The bad news is that nothing lasts forever.”
She looks over at me. “And the in-between?”
“The in-between is the only safe part,” I admit.
