Page 37 of The Lies You Love
I furrow my brow, standing. “Gross.”
“Is there a word that needs to be said to make it real?” His eyes trail my body up and down, forcing even more desire to flood. His gaze lazily finds mine. “Or we good?”
“Why do you want a Pismo Beach Disaster when you could have someone, someone, better?” A whole woman without issues or baggage. Someone perfect and whole is what he deserves.
His eyes turn to slits. “The Pismo Beach Disaster is a completely fictitious event, so I’m going to assume you’re speaking in oxymorons here. You are gorgeous, level-headed, giving,” Beck says, raising both brows. “Really giving,” he adds in a lower tone. “Auden, you are a successful woman. You own a business. Have your own place. Know what you want in life. You look like that.” He nods at my body and hot scarlet creeps up my chest and neck. “It makes me wonder why someone like you is even entertaining the idea of being with a man like me.”
“I’m going to put your looks aside because we both know you look like a muscular version of a Hollywood action movie star, I’ll assume you’re talking about your odd availability?”
Beck shifts his weight from one foot to another, but his gaze remains steadfast. “When did you want to go camping?” He ignores the question, opening the fridge and taking out a bunch of stuff for sandwiches. I allow it.
“As soon as I get situated at work and someone can cover for multiple days.”
He clears his throat, asks what I want on my ham and cheese, and makes the hottest fucking show of a man in the kitchen I’ve ever seen as he wipes mustard on bread, butt naked.
“I wanted to ask you if you wanted to fly to Texas with me just for two nights. That’s where my family lives now. I don’t want to miss out on those days with you, but I also made them a promise.” He hands me the sandwich, no plate. I take a bite, chewing slowly.
“Meeting the family, huh? Isn’t that a big step?”
Beck shrugs, eating half of his sandwich in one bite. I’m jealous of the ham. I swallow and take another bite. “Not if you don’t make it a big deal. They don’t think I have it in me to have a relationship so it’s a little bit so I can rub it in their faces, too.”
“That makes sense. Maybe I should put my own parents’ minds at ease, too. While we’re being so brazen and rushing things. They worry about me constantly.”
“This isn’t rushing things; this is merely knowing what you want. The people who put a timeline on things are the same people who have no fucking clue what they want. In life. In a partner. They’re walking around hoping that by the time a magic number ticks past, infinite wisdom will ignite their brain. That’s not the way it works.”
“Do you agree that time does give you the ability to know someone better, though? Maybe people do know what they want, and they just need time to figure out if the other person ticks all the boxes. Not everyone is so open right up front.”
He drinks straight from the faucet and wipes his mouth on his forearm. “Doesn’t apply to us. We both know what we want. You do, right? You told me what you wanted before.”
I finish the last bite, smile around the food, and nod furiously. “I didn’t realize you were offering what I wanted,” I clap back.
“Darling, I’d offer you far more than you’re asking for if it meant watching you eat sandwiches in my kitchen naked on a daily basis.”
My heart leaps. “Is this about sex then?”
As Beck stalks around the corner, he tips his chin up and down. “It is, but it’s more than that.” When he’s near enough, I clasp my hands around his neck and peck his lips. “Tell me more about your family,” he says.
I lean away to make sure he really is interested and find his soulful eyes searching mine. “They’re the opposite of me. My parents are perfect,” I say, offering a small smile. “They’ve been together forever, and I don’t have any siblings.” He brushes my hair away from my face. “They love me, don’t get me wrong, but they love each other more. I think that’s why I never got a brother or a sister. It would take more time away from them.” Don’t hold their love against them, Auden, I remind myself. It hurts now, but I always relished in their bliss when I was young. When all of my childhood friends were miserable while their parents divorced, mine seemed to get closer. “Mom is beautiful. Dad is athletic and wise. When Dad retired, they decided to travel the world.” I look away. “When I was recovering from the transplant, they visited a couple times, but mostly they’re gone.”
“No other family?” he asks, brows drawing in.
I shake my head. “No. I think it’s why when I didn’t end up getting married, it was such a blow. That was my chance to have someone forever.”
“That’s not a one-chance thing, Auden.”
I exhale and wrap my arms around his thick torso. “I know. It felt like it at the time. It’s why people put so much pressure on the idea of perfection, I think. It’s what I knew growing up. Failing and failing so badly at something that seemed so effortless in the marriage I lived inside of for eighteen years before I moved out was tragic.”
“Not even a grandparent?” Beck asks, voice incredulous. “I don’t have a huge family, but damn, there’s always someone who needs visiting or a phone call.”
“Nope. There is usually a Facetime call to check in from my parents every couple of weeks. That’s when they’ll ask how work is going or if I’m dating anyone. I lied for a while because Russian Roulette romances aren’t something that would make a parent proud.”
Beck is chuckling, I feel it against my cheek. “And I’d make them proud?” he asks.
“One-hundred-percent.” There’s a lull where I let him hold me. It feels good, warm—safe. “I’ll go to Texas with you,” I add. “DO you think they’ll approve of me?”
“Little I do gains their approval, but you might be the one thing they’ll be excited about. I have to tell you, though, I’m an only child now, but I haven’t always been. My brother-in-law lives with my parents. My sister passed.”
An uncomfortable feeling creeps across my skin. I want to say so much, but the words get lodged in my throat. “I’m sorry.”
