Page 34 of The Lies You Love
“What the fuck, Ronnie,” Ramsey hisses. “Don’t gaslight her. Everyone knows your tactics. You messed up tonight. You picked the wrong girl to fuck with.”
The asshole named Ronnie eyes me up and down, but I can only stare at Ramsey and wonder how the fuck she knows this bastard. “I didn’t think she was telling the truth about a boyfriend.”
Auden stoops down to pick up the shoes, still sniffling. “I’m leaving now. I feel like a fool.”
“Did he fucking touch you?” I ask because I don’t trust him. “Auden.” When her silence stretches on, I ask again.
“He told me he didn’t think I’d go quietly,” she says, barely audible. “What else could that mean?” She’s second-guessing the whole interaction.
I nod once, take a step away from Auden, and punch Ronnie in his fucking face. A blunt crunch under my knuckles brings the satisfaction I was craving. “Okay, I feel better now.” I exhale long and hard, backing up, cradling my right fist. “Fuck,” I yell, once and then again while I ruminate with the fact Ramsey is in trouble. It’s the only explanation.
“It’s been nice to commune with nature and all, but let’s get out of here.” I go to grab Ramsey’s arm, but she yanks it away. A lump in my throat forms. It was a brusque move, one that will look out of place. “You want to stay here with him? After what he tried to do with her?”
Ramsey looks torn. “Are you okay, Auddie?”
“I’m fine. Embarrassed. I shouldn’t have left you guys. I just, I just, I know better and I went with him anyway.” The man in question is still on the ground, writhing, clutching his bloody nose. “I need to have a word with Ronnie, and I’ll meet you guys back at the pool. Griffin is waiting there.”
It’s against every fiber in my being leaving her behind, but Auden needs to get out of here. She uses me to put her shoes back on, holding my bicep in a vise grip. She doesn’t loosen the hold when we begin walking out. One last glance behind me shows Ramsey with the flashlight shaking, hissing under her breath at the bloody guy on the ground. I can’t hear the words being spoken, but the anger is unmistakable. Grey has to be nearby. He has to. I feel like I might vomit and rage against the world at the same time.
When we’re out on the lawn, but before we get back to where all the people are lingering, Auden stops walking. I turn to face her, and she releases my arm. I pluck a stick out of her hair and wipe a smudge of dirt off the corner of her lip. “I don’t have any good explanations. I thought you stood me up, and he asked if I wanted to see the cabin, so I went. It was just a bad decision.” It tumbles from her mouth in a rush.
I nod once. “You were going to fuck him in the woods, then? That’s the strength of your loyalty? You know damn well we are more. I’m late, and as punishment, you decide to fuck a sleazy bastard in the woods? That’s the explanation?”
She shakes her head no, but her face falls at the same time. I must be a little right. “No. I mean, maybe. I self-sabotage, Beck.” She says the last sentence like it’s an excuse. “Things between us seem too good to be true, and well, I ruin things. You can always count on me to destroy any shred of happiness.”
“Bullshit, Auden. I thought, I thought, things were different. My mistake.”
She’s shaking, and her fear levels me. “Beck, please. I’m sorry.”
“For what? What are you sorry for?” I hiss, unable to meet her eyes. She looks fucking beautiful, and I’d lose any resolve I have if I let her in. If I let her destroy my willpower with a single glance.
She lays a hand on my chest, and I don’t move it. I want it there. I want her to own me—to tell me she belongs to only me. “For a lot of things, but mostly, I’m sorry for not trusting the feelings I have for you.” A couple passes by us on their way to the path that leads up to the main house. “I’m sorry for doubting you, and I’m sorry you had to come help me.”
I push her hand off me and cut her off, “Do not apologize for that.”
“That guy is probably rich. He could sue you for smashing his face in. It’s my fault!” Her voice echoes and the man and woman turn around to glance our way. I wave, she forces a smile. “I will apologize for that. I know, Beckett. I know I’m bad for you. No matter how much I want you, I know that.”
I do it, I look at her. I’m not sure how it’s entirely possible that I want to chain her to my body to keep her close and run far away at the same time, but that’s what I feel. Auden frightens the fuck out of me. “All I heard is you want me,” I reply, swallowing hard. “And I’m not worried about that guy back there, so you shouldn’t either.”
She looks away, shakes her head, and then meets my gaze again. “I can see the end at the beginning.”
I raise one brow. “What?”
Her cheeks pink, and whatever she says next, I know she’s either ashamed or embarrassed about. “When I woke up in the hospital after the attack, I was looking into Walker’s eyes. I saw it then. The end of us—him ripping out my heart.” She closes her eyes and keeps them closed as she lays an open palm on her chest. Her pain is palpable. Tears cut down her cheeks, then her lashes flutter open to look at me. “When I look at you, Beck. I also see the end.” She sniffles. “Except it’s not my heart that gets destroyed this time.”
I’m not sure what to say, so I stay silent and remain stoic. This lines up with the agony I feel when I’m around her. The push and pull of my emotions warring with the desire I feel for her. A knot forms in my stomach when I meet her eyes. “Why don’t you leave the heartbreaking out of this for a second.” I exhale long and hard. “Auden, I want you. Regardless of what you think will happen, and even if I’m running late. You’re not seeing an end, Auden. I guarantee that.”
“You’re not going to leave?” she asks, tears brimming in her eyes.
Shaking my head, I pull her into my chest. “Oh, no, I’m leaving, you’re just coming with me.”
When I pull back, she’s smiling at me. I grab her hand and pull her toward the party’s edge and make my way to the parking lot. They were valet parking cars, but I wasn’t giving my keys to anyone so I’m down the road a bit, parallel parked in front of someone’s house. Griffin’s plan is to ride home with Ramsey, so I text him to make sure he knows I’m gone. He doesn’t reply, but that’s not uncommon, so I slip my phone back into my pocket, opening the passenger side door for Auden. She slips in, and I eye the surroundings before getting into the driver’s side and starting the engine.
There’s a long stretch of silence as I drive toward the freeway that leads back to the city. “How do you know you want me after such a short time?” she asks, her voice quiet, shoulders hunched over. “It’s hard for me to believe is all.”
“I don’t know what next month holds, Auden, and I can’t tell you how I know I want you, other than I can tell you I’m one-hundred-percent into this for as long as we have together. I do know I don’t want you following other men places.” My hands tighten on the steering wheel in response. “I don’t mean to pivot, but how did your friend get invited to that party?” I clear my throat. “It seemed pretty exclusive, and correct me if I’m wrong that it wasn’t your normal crowd.”
“I think,” Auden says, tapping her nails on her knees, “And this is just my thoughts, that someone from before invited her tonight. She invited me and well now here we are. It seemed like she knew that asshole in the woods, didn’t it? I was so shaken and wanted away from him, but with some space, the whole scene was sketch with Rams.” Her nails tap faster. “What if she didn’t know him, and we left her with that monster?”
