Page 33 of The Love You Hate
He breathes heavy on the other end of the phone for several seconds and it has me wondering if he’s okay. “I’m afraid there is another reason I’m calling, Nate. It’s not good news. Your cousin Felix isn’t doing well and your parents have requested your presence before he passes.” The second he used my first name,I knew it was something like this.
A million emotions rush through my veins, and tears prick my eyes. “I understand, but…” I was told this already, but hearing it from someone who isn’t a relative makes it that much worse. My mom was the one who called and pleaded with my superiors. I’m sure of it. Asking me wasn’t good enough, she had to force me back to my hometown by calling my boss.
“No buts, I’m sending Gray Henderson to watch your Principal for a couple days so you can say your goodbyes.” I’m going to be punished for this in some way, I’m sure of it. Anytime our real lives interfere with our jobs, we’re penalized in subtle, non-traceable ways.
There is no use arguing. “When?”
“He arrives in two days and has already been debriefed. Gray mentioned landing in your location early to talk to you in person, but don’t worry he won’t interfere with your plans.” There’s a long pause where I think he expects me to object. “You need this time with your family. How long has it been since you’ve been home, Nate?”
Hanging my head, I exhale. “I don’t know.”
“I’ll email you the flight details tomorrow. We’re having issues with another Principal, and I need to make a call.” He hangs up without another word.
The walk back to my house is slow and quiet. Rayleen and her shotgun don’t make an appearance and I’m almost sorry. It would be a distraction from thinking about my real life. About Felix and how bad things must be. As I enter my cabin, the thought of another person guarding Presley hits and makes me wildly uncomfortable. They won’t know her like I do. Gray will know her on paper, like all the people at headquarters know her. For me, being close, I’m able to help predict her unpredictability. If something happens to her while I’m gone, I’m not sure I’ll get over it. Another mistake, another black mark on my record, but I know it’s more than that now. I have feelings for the woman.
The only thing I can do is make sure my reports are detailed and accurate so Gray can study them on his downtime. He won’t want to be close to her like I am. Just being a substitute, he’ll lurk in the shadows and hopefully be good enough that he doesn’t spook Presley into feeling watched. I settle into my chair and unlock my computer. I have a straight shot to the front door and a perfect view of her roller skates. I wince away from the onslaught of emotions. The root cause is the thought of leaving her. Logic argues that this break from her might be a good thing. Time away from her could clear my head and force me back into the comfortable platonic space I need to reside in. Losing Felix might fix my life. Then again, it might only prolong the inevitable—giving Presley exactly what she’s after.
Me.
