Page 23 of The Love You Hate
“What a weird thing to say. Why would you care if I broke my bones? I mean, I fully expect to break a wrist learning to skate fast. I want to be a roller derby girl! Breaking bones comes with the territory.”
Nate clears his throat, and leans an elbow on the window. “The healthcare isn’t the best in Gold Hawke, Presley. Or need I remind you.” He lifts and lowers his bandaged arm. There’s new gauze peeking from under the sleeve of his shirt.
“Guess you won’t be partaking in the roller derby with me.”
“Nope, but I will garden.” Nate moves stealthily into a parking spot along the edge of the lot, backing in. Another tactical move, something I wouldn’t dream of taking note of before. “I think I got the basics and will make a trip to the gardening store this weekend.” Pulling up on thegearshift, he puts it in park. “You can come if you want.”
I know what store he’s talking about. Ryan told me about it the first day I worked with him. It’s not in Gold Hawke, and technically if I went, I’d be breaking a rule. “Yes,” falls from my mouth before I weigh the consequences. Nate won’t let anything happen to me. He’s former military. Maybe if I concoct a story about why I’m scared of basically...everything, it would make the friendship easier. My lie could become our truth and I wouldn’t feel like I’m hiding constantly. “Ryan told me about that place and it sounds like fun.”
Nate gets out of the truck and rounds the front to open my door, but not before eye fucking the blonde getting out of the car next to us. “Calling a gardening store fun isn’t really accurate,” he says. “More like a middle-aged hobby when most of the good years have passed.”
I let my eyes linger on the woman longer than is polite. What does she have I don’t? When you once had everything, it’s hard to grasp that you now have nothing. I can’t compete with this small-town Betty, and my stomach flips with unease. “Well, for me it sounds like the best time ever. Pair it with my new roller skates and it feels like a vacation.” The woman is talking animatedly to the guy she’s with, her brassy, from a bottle color is straightened into a curtain of hair. The man wraps his arm around her waist and she leans into his embrace. Nate is still glancing at them even though we’re discussing the dumb gardening store. She’s taken. He has a thing for women that aren’t available. Duh, Presley. I’m as available as they come. Not only that, I quite literally was throwing myself at him. I am the opposite of the kind of woman he desires. It’s fitting, honestly. All of the men I’ve ever known who look like him have tasted the wide variety of normal and they want the challenge–the attached and unavailable.
We walk together through the giant red rocks, following the stream of folks buzzing with excitement. This is big news for our town and surely, it’s a cool enough event that it’s big news for the surrounding towns too. Nate stays a step ahead of me, I realize, and I continue talking about dumb shit because I’m nervous. This is not a date. If anything, by buying me a gift he’s put me into the forever friend category. The sisterly bond or something equally as friend-zoned. The sooner I can put Nate Sullivan in the same zone, things will be far less complicated.
Excitement replaces any annoyance when we get through the gates and the view of the expansive crowd unfurls before us. More people than I’ve seen in one place since my second life began are here. I feel the excitement blossoming in my chest–the familiar beat of music, and my wild, familiar life seems to creep back in. I step around Nate and don’t even worry if he is following me, I mix into the crowd and disappear. Maybe I can pretend to be another person. At least just for the night.
