Page 87 of Screwed (Dad Bod Contracting 4)
I drape my thigh over his and twist to look up at him. “No such thing, James.”
He blinks down at me. “Fine.” He sighs. “Okay, so—even since before you and I started getting serious, I’ve been contemplating the idea of selling my place.”
I’m floored. “You…what? Why?”
“I guess it’s part of moving on. There are so many memories there, you know? Too many. Doc Rich said it may be worth thinking about, in the name of moving on. Renée and I picked that place together, you know? It’s where she and I built a life together. There’re good memories, obviously, but…painful ones, too. I just don’t want to yank them from the only home they’ve ever known willy-nilly, you know? If we move, I want it to be…for a reason. Somewhere specific, for a specific reason. And that place is cool, with the pool and the barn and the big yard and all that.”
He’s angling at something that makes my heart thump so hard in my chest that it hurts. “James, what are you saying?”
He won’t quite look at me, and I palm his cheek, using his beard to tug his face down so he has to look at me. “Just…that, um—I guess, that I do plan on moving, selling the place and…and moving somewhere. So, what you said, about us wanting to be together—it wouldn’t necessarily be that big of an issue. If you, um. If you were—”
I can’t help the giddy, excited, happy grin from spreading across my face. “Say it, James. Don’t be shy.”
He looks down at me and chuckles wryly. “You’re getting a kick out of this, aren’t you?”
I nod. “Oh yeah.” I wriggle against him like an excited puppy. “I’m all in, James. I’ve been doing my damnedest to hold my emotions in check. To stay even a little objective. But, that day at your pool party, I—I fucking fell for you then. I was scared about how strongly I felt for you within seconds of just…seeing you. And then we kissed, and I…god, James, I knew.”
“You knew?”
I nod. “I was ready to go all in back then, except for being scared to death of falling in love again. It took this long just to accept that it was happening, that I couldn’t stop it—that there was not a damned thing I could do to stop myself from falling in love with you, totally and completely.” I sigh. “I was just in denial. The guilt of feeling like I was betraying Craig plus, the fact that I knew you were in no way ready to know how hard I was falling…it was all too much, and I sort of retreated from it, mentally and emotionally. Tried to bury it, hold it back, or—or pretend it wasn’t real, wasn’t there.”
James is swallowing hard, eyes dancing as they search my face.
“I can’t hold it back anymore, James.” I move astride him—it’s both sexual and something else: I need him, I want him, I need to be closer to him—as close as I can physically get, sexually and emotionally and physically and spiritually. “I just can’t. I hope you’re buckled up, baby, because I’m about to get super fucking clingy and needy and demanding.”
He weaves his fingers into my hair, massaging my scalp, pulling my face to his. “How the fuck do I deserve you, Nova?”
I shake my head. “There’s no deserving—that’s not a thing.”
He swallows hard, and when he speaks his voice is cracked and hoarse. “I—I thought my heart was…dead. Broken. I thought I’d never—never feel this again. I didn’t think I wanted to. I didn’t think I could.” He shakes his head, too full of emotion to speak, for a moment. “I’m alive with you in a way I…in a way I thought was impossible.”
“So, what were you trying to say about selling your house?” I say, prompting him.
He laughs. “I was saying that once this place is finished, and once we’ve had some time to get the girls used to us being together, that if you’re open to the idea, we could…be here. With you. Together.”
“What about your pole barn?” I ask. “All your tools and workout equipment and all that.” I gesture at my backyard—which, while sizable, is in no way going to accommodate all that. “It’s not happening out there—sorry, babe, but that pole barn of yours is bigger than my whole yard.”
He shrugs. “I dunno. I’ve been running the company out of my garage up till now. But I was thinking of expanding, taking on a few more guys so Jess, Ryder, and Franco have time to pursue their own projects here and there. And to expand I’d need a separate facility for a fleet of trucks, a warehouse for tools and building materials. I kind of want to focus more on new builds, which would mean a couple different crews. I’ve taken a look at a few possible industrial properties that may work. Point is, all that shit would go there.”
