Page 53 of Screwed (Dad Bod Contracting 4)
Jesse rolls his eyes. “You’re so dry and boring, Franky boy.” He gazes at me earnestly. “What Franco is trying to say is that we’re doing this for you because we want to. You’re our girl, Nova. Part of the gang. Audra moved in with Franco and Laurel moved in with Ryder so their places were already done, but Ryder, Franco, and James all helped me redo Imogen’s house, and we’ll all help James redo yours.”
“But we’re not—”
“Nova, listen,” Jesse cuts in. “He’s working on it. We all know that’s what he’s doing. He’s been a miserable fucking bastard for years, to be honest, and since he met you, I’ve seen hints of the old James. Just hints, but more than I’ve seen in him since my sister died. So, we’re all rooting for you two to figure your shit out—and no one more than me.”
“Even though your sister was his wife?” I ask.
Jesse winces, sighs heavily, and nods. “I hated them together at first. Classic older brother, right? I actually decked him when I found they’d slept together. But she loved the fuck out that big dumb jock, and she made him better.” He smiles faintly, eyes misting. “And god knows James was stupid for my sister. He’d have fought Satan himself barehanded and bare naked for that woman, and he kept her grounded. She was a wild woman, flighty and kooky, and…” He shrugs, lifts his hands palms up, and shakes his head, lets his hands thump heavily onto the table. “But she’s gone. And she wanted him to find love again.”
Franco nods. “I knew her well enough to know she’d have wanted him to get his head out of his ass and find some kind of happiness again.”
Jesse blinks hard. “I—she…um. A few days before she—before she died, Renée called me.” Jesse hesitates. “No one actually knows this. But, um. She called me at like four in the morning, sobbing. She’d had a nightmare—she dreamed she’d died in…in childbirth. She told me she knew it was silly, and just a hormonal pregnancy dream, but that it had felt…different. More real, or something. She was more scared and upset than I’d ever heard her, ever. She made me promise that—if by some freak or fluke or whatever, something did happen to her, that I’d make sure James didn’t bury himself. That’s how she put it. Bury himself. And it’s what he’s done. I haven’t had any success trying to help him dig out, but god fucking knows I’ve tried. He’s a stubborn bastard, though, and he’s refused to…to—” Jesse shrugs awkwardly, visibly choked up and emotional. “He just won’t get his head out of his ass.”
Another pause, his eyes on me. “Until you came along. He’s fighting it, but I see some of the old Jamie in him, when you’re around. And I—I like it. I like seeing that. And I keep finding myself hoping that I can do something, anything, to help you and him figure shit out, because that would mean I’d have done something to keep that promise to my sister—the last promise I ever made her. And the only one I’ve been unable to keep.”
I’m choking. “Jess, it’s not—”
He taps the blueprints. “So, what I’m saying is, I’d build you an entire house with my bare hands, from scratch, if it meant giving you and James time and space to figure it out. If it meant…” He shrugs, trailing off. “I dunno.”
I cover his hands with mine. “He has to be ready for it, Jess,” I say, my voice low and quiet.
He nods. “I know. It’s just that I’m a fixer, and his broken-ass heart is the one thing I can’t fix.”
“No one can,” I say. “I can’t fix his broken heart. He has to be willing to be with me with a whole heart. There’d be pieces missing, and seams and cracks, but he has to offer it as a whole. I’m worth more than just accepting the fucked-up mess of him, just to have a part. I want more than that—I deserve more. If he can get there, I’ll be here waiting. I’ve got nothing but time, Jess. I’m not going anywhere, and I told him that. I’m willing to wait—because I think he’s worth waiting for.” I smile at Jesse. “If he can get his head out of his ass and work on rebuilding his broken-ass heart, he’ll be worth waiting for.”
Franco slaps the table. “All right. Mushy time is over. I’m all for everything you guys said, and I want my friends—both you and James—to be happy, however that happens, however it looks. In the meantime, I need to know if you’re giving us the green light to get to work in here. We can start right now—I’ve got a roll-off dumpster on hold and it can be here inside of thirty minutes. We can start in the kitchen, get the biggest and messiest part of the demo over with first.”
