Page 52 of Screwed (Dad Bod Contracting 4)
He rolls a heavy shoulder, adjusting his hat and sunglasses on his head. “I guess I’d have to wait to make that call. Get the wall opened up, update the bathroom.” He hums. “Both ideas are cool, it’ll just depend on how you want the final product to look and feel.”
“Do you guys want to take a look at the rooms now? Maybe that will give you a better idea.”
“Sure, good idea.” Jesse hops up and ambles to my bedroom, looks around, then pokes his head into the bathroom and looks in there, and then returns to sit at the table again. “So, just from an initial impression, I’d say an archway makes more sense. You’re not working with a ton of space in either room. Most of your square footage is in the living room and kitchen, which is actually ideal, but it just means your bedroom and bathroom are smaller. A sliding barn door may make the bedroom feel smaller, whereas an open archway will add to the feel of space. Right now you have a shower-tub combo, a huge—and, frankly, hideous—vanity, and a linen cabinet. None of that is using the space efficiently. I’d take the bathroom down to the studs, put in a small, marble-tiled shower stall, a soaker tub, a small, delicate, elegant vanity—a pedestal, maybe, with a glass or hammered copper bowl and a fancy faucet. Rip out that stupid cabinet and make a shelf for towels out of bare pipe and squares of black walnut to tie in with the kitchen. Efficient use of space, and it looks cool. You’ll feel you have more space in the bathroom, but you’ll have a marble shower with a rainfall head and a soaking tub. You have the space in there, you just have to use it right.”
I blink. “Wow. I love that idea.” I glance at Jesse speculatively. “You know, when you start talking design, you turn into a whole different person.”
Franco laughs. “He actually sounds smart, doesn’t he?”
Jesse flips Franco off, totally unfazed by Franco’s constant insults to his intelligence. “I may be a dumbass, but I’m not a total moron.” He then gives Franco double middle fingers. “Unlike you. You’re a dumbass, a moron, and a fuckface.”
“Ooh, you really dug deep for that one, didn’t you, little buddy?” Franco says. “Careful coming up with those witty retorts, Jess—wouldn’t want you to strain your one brain cell.”
“At least I have a brain cell. You’ve outsourced your thinking to your butthole.”
I cackle. “Hey, Tweedledee and Tweedledum—do you two ever stop?”
“Nope!” they both say in unison.
I shake my head. “So immature.”
Jesse snickers. “Hey, I’ve overheard you and the girls talking. You’re not much better.”
I laugh. “I can’t argue with that.” I lean over the blueprints again. “So. What else?”
Franco traces the outer wall facing the backyard. “This whole wall becomes a glass wall—apparently James has a specific product in mind. A deck, some paint here and there, and I think that covers it.”
I think a while. “And cost?” I ask eventually.
Franco pulls out a third piece of paper, this one a computer printout with a line-by-line estimate. “You’re paying for materials, plus about ten percent of the cost of labor. If you want to go lower, we can pick less expensive materials—James has figured pretty high-end stuff in here. So if you want to spend less, we can help you pick slightly less expensive but still quality materials.”
The number on the sheet would mean pretty much every dime of my savings, plus I would probably figure some extra for unexpected costs, which always crop up, in my experience. But for what James is proposing…it’s theft. Actual theft.
I sigh, conflicted. “How much would this cost, at normal rates?”
“If you were just some random client?” Franco says, leaning back and thinking. “I dunno. Jess?”
Jesse tilts his head to one side, thinking, calculating. “Oh, let’s see…the kitchen alone would be fifty, at least. Maybe twenty or so for the bathroom. The wall and deck? Another ten, easily. That’s conservative. If you could do this for under a hundred, you’d be winning. Fifty for the kitchen is probably way under. You could easily blow a hundred grand on this kitchen without going nuts.”
I wince and sigh. “I don’t know if I can accept this. You guys are going to put in, what, weeks of work? Months?”
Jesse shrugs. “Nah, not months. We’d bring in a crew for the grunt stuff. We have some guys who are expert deck builders—that’s all they do, and they give us good prices. I’d say a month, two at most, barring unforeseen complications, but this place isn’t that old, so I don’t see too much of that.”
Franco leans forward on his elbows, flipping a pencil around his thumb with his middle finger. “Nova, listen. All of us are doing really well. Business has never been better. We have more jobs lined up than you can imagine, and we’ve increased our profit margin by quite a lot over the last year or two. We’re not hurting, okay? So, you can take this bid and get an amazing remodel. It’ll take your resale value and nearly double it, I’d say. This neighborhood is getting better by the year, which means your comps will go up in value, making your personal home value go up. My point is, you’ll see a big return on this, even if you paid full price.”
