Page 51 of Sapphire Tears

I just want the option.

22

JUNE

He stays with me.

My bed feels full with him in it. I sit up for an hour and watch him sleep. It stops raining around the time I finally admit to myself that my love for him is real.

I did love Adrian. Hell, maybe a part of me still does. But I can see now how frail and weak my love for him was, compared to what I feel for Kolya.

And even now, I still almost let Adrian break me.

So how could I stand a chance against Kolya?

I lean forward and press my lips to Kolya’s brow. He doesn’t so much as stir. He sleeps with one arm curled around my body, so I lean into him, really breathe him in.

Vanilla, of course. But he also smells of musk and oak. Hibiscus and whiskey.

I force myself to disengage. Then I slide out of bed without disturbing him. If he wakes up, then the plan will change. I’ll have to stay.

The voice in my head begs for that to happen.Wake up, Kolya. Wake up, dammit. Wake up, wake up, wake up! Wake up and convince me I’m wrong.

He still doesn’t move.

I pull on jeans and a t-shirt. I grab my satchel, the phone that Kolya returned to me, and all the money in my possession. Then I tiptoe towards the door.

I open it and stop at the threshold. I turn around, still hoping against hope for some sign that I’m going in the wrong direction.

But he’s still sleeping.

I should be grateful. This makes it so much easier. And yet I can feel my heart drop as I shut the door behind me.

It’s raining again, harder than ever, by the time I get to the grand entrance. I dash through the downpour, straight for Kolya’s sleek black convertible. It’s parked on the other side of the fountain. The statue of the guest who never left seems to look up at me as I run across the driveway.

Is he wishing me luck? Or warning me?

Thunder rolls across the sky, and I drop the keys twice before I manage to unlock the car. I soak the car seat the moment I’m in, but the engine purrs to life without a problem.

When I was inside the mirrored ballroom, everything seemed so clear. Leaving felt like my only option. The right one for me and my baby.

But now, out here in the rain and the darkness, I’m not so sure.

I flick the windshield wipers on at maximum power and start driving. I have no idea where I’m going. I can’t go back home, and I can’t count on my family. My parents would call me crazy for leaving Kolya. And my sister…

I feel a twinge of discomfort when I think about Geneva. Yes, she made mistakes. She lied to me, betrayed me, kept things from me—but her intentions were pure the whole way through. I believed her when she said she was just trying to protect me.

I’ll worry about that later. For now, I needed to put some distance between Kolya and me.

As if it were ever such an easy thing to do.

I gnaw at my cheek as I try to maneuver down the waterlogged road, veering around puddles that are far deeper than they first appeared. The pause in the storm was a lie, it seems. It’s back with a vengeance and twice as angry now, lashing the landscape with a violent fury. The earth itself seems to be cringing against the cold and the wet.

I check the rearview mirror again and again. I expect to feel a sense of relief when the hotel finally disappears. Maybe even a sense of accomplishment. But all I feel is sadness. The deep and all-consuming feeling that I’ve lost something important.

My vision blurs, and I slow down a little until I’ve got a hold of myself.

“Come on, June,” I snarl under my breath. “Get your shit together.”

---