Page 108 of Sapphire Tears

I stare at the throng of men waiting around, and I realize that this isn’t a vulture’s vigil. They’re here because they care about her.

I fight back tears and give him a curt nod. “Where is Kolya?”

“He disappeared into his office a few minutes before you got here.”

I head straight to his office, finding it odd that Kolya is there and not waiting outside the room that Sara is using as an operating theater. I don’t bother knocking. He doesn’t so much as flinch when I make my entrance.

He’s sitting in his massive wingback chair facing the windows, though the dark velvet curtains are drawn tight. I walk around his desk, grab the edge of the wingback, and swivel it to make him face me.

There’s a spark of something when he sees me, but it’s snuffed out as soon as it appears.

“Kolya,” I say softly. I can smell alcohol on him. His fingers twitch as though he wants to reach for me, but he doesn’t. “What are you doing here? We should be waiting outside the operating room. Sara—”

“Sara knows where to find me when she has news.” His voice is dead inside.

“Kolya—”

“I threw her past in her face, June.” He’s flush with disappointment, spilling over with hatred, a black hole of self-loathing. “I called her… I called her a…”

I sink to my knees in front of him and cup his hands in mine. “People have fights, Kolya,” I say. “Whatever you said to her, I’m sure—

“I told her I didn’t want advice from a whore.”

I flinch. “Y-you were clearly upset.”

“It should be me splayed open on that operating table. Not her.”

Just the image those words conjure has my entire body stricken with fear and dread. The idea of losing Kolya…It cuts down my emotions and leaves me raw and exposed.

I’mthe one splayed open. We all are, in our own way.

“Were you at Geneva’s apartment earlier today?” I ask quietly.

He just nods.

I don’t even have the capacity to be surprised anymore. “So you heard what he said?”

“Most of it.”

“And… you didn’t bust in there?” I ask in disbelief.

“I wanted to,” he admits. “I wanted to so fucking badly.”

“So what stopped you?”

He meets my eyes. “You did.”

I recoil in surprise. “I did?”

“If I had walked in there, I would have put a bullet in the motherfucker, just like I did with my father. And then you would have had to live with that memory the rest of your life, like I do. You made me swear I wouldn’t hurt him. So I didn’t.”

I put both my hands on his knees and draw him closer. “I’m sorry,” I whisper. “For putting you in that position. For holding out hope when I should have just accepted the truth of who Adrian is.”

His eyebrows come together. “You believe me now?”

I shake my head. “I always believed you, Kolya. I was confused for a while there, but deep down, I believed you. I just didn’t want to believe the worst in Adrian.”

“No,” he says soberly. “Neither did I. For a long time.” Then he winds his fingers around my wrist and pulls me up onto his lap.

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