Page 10 of Sapphire Tears

He nods. “I remember.”

“Was that also part of your elaborate fake death plan?” I ask.

I hate how I sound—bitter and broken. But it’s what I feel. It’s what I am.

Adrian gulps. “I thought that if you… if you hated me at the end, it would be easier for you to process my death.”

“Ah,” I say with an effusive nod. “I get it. You were beingkindwhen you slapped me across the face. How thoughtful. How fucking noble of you.”

He shakes his head. “I’m an asshole. Is that what you want me to say, June?” he asks. “I’m a worthless bastard who doesn’t deserve you. Never did. Never will.”

“I’m not trying to make you say anything, Adrian.”

He stands up and takes a step towards me. “This is torture for me,” he says. “Having you look at me like that. Like I’m a stranger.”

“Youarea stranger.”

“Because my brother filled your head with lies about me—”

“Leave Kolya out of this!”

His eyes go wide before he schools his expression back to neutral. “I heard about the wedding,” he says softly. “I guess I assumed you were being forced into it. But now, I’m not so sure… Were you, June?”

If I avoid his eyes now, I’ll give myself away. So I square my shoulders and jerk my chin out in defiance.

“You’ve lost the right to ask me that question.”

That vein pulses again. His knuckles are white through his skin, his jaw clenched as hard as it can go. I can sense the storm about to break, about to unleash on me—

And then it just… doesn’t. He nods, and it all recedes back below the surface. Maybe it was never even there at all.

“You’re right.”

“Things can’t just go back to the way they were, Adrian,” I tell him with a painful swallow. “Not least of all because the way things were wasn’t healthy for either one of us.”

His chin falls to his chest. “I know,” he mumbles. “Yeah, I know.”

“You don’t have to bring me presents, either,” I say. “We’re not a couple anymore. There’s no point in pretending.”

He raises his eyes to meet mine. That forlorn puppy-dog gaze, designed in a laboratory to tug on your heartstrings. Sarah McLachlan ought to be singing in the background about being in the arms of an angel, begging you to donate to a worthy cause.

“I never stopped loving you, June,” he says at last.

“Really?” I laugh bitterly. “Because it felt like you stopped a long time ago.”

He turns towards the boarded windows. We’re silent for a long time.

Chug-chug-chug,goes the washing machine.

Skit-skit-skit,go the roaches.

Thump-thump-thump,goes my broken heart.

“I want a chance to prove myself to you, June,” he says after God knows how long has passed. “I want the chance to win back your trust.” He comes closer and picks up both my hands in his. “My life was never better than when you were in it. And I need you by my side to be happy. I want us to be a family. The three of us. You, me, and our baby.”

He was always good at this. The honeyed words, the charming smile. The clawing sincerity that makes you feel guilty for not believing him right away.

Be strong, June.

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